I can sew, but I'm lazy about it. I'm bringing some pants to be shortened to a tailor, even though hemming is certainly within my skill set, because the pants have been sitting on my "stuff to be sewn" pile for over a year, and I've just accepted that I'm not going to do it.

I can do basic hemming, sew on a button, or sew a straight seam. I keep thinking of learning how to make quilts, and then actually doing something else.

What is wrong with my education? I know my grammar is horrible. And I have come to realize that I was taught to spell UK/Canadian by whatever Christian Academy I was in when learning to spell was the thing to do (and have been driving my beta nuts until she caught on) (and I will probably drive readers nuts).

I'm typing an email to my insurance company and end up with angst over the red dots underlining "spelt".

Who the fuck taught me English and why does Firefox and Word not agree with it? I actually spent fifth grade (my first year in public school) thinking I was the dumbest creature to ever exist because the teachers failed me hard in my writing class (and in later years, would be confused that I apparently didn't know how to spell a lot of words correctly, with access to Microsoft and spellcheck). And I can't knock it off (and I refuse to, because of childhood trauma, being made to feel dumb when it was all perfectly acceptable).

Why do I have to keep being made aware that I'm off-kilter with my spelling because of where I live? F*** you Firefox and Microsoft Office!

I think, in the end, this is the real reason that I hate Christianity.

And most thing I wear cost less than $50, and usually more like $20, because I am a broke ass bitch, and spending more money to tailor something than it cost seems like insane troll logic.

Except! If you can spend $40-$70 to end up with something that looks custom, you are way ahead of the game! Especially considering that even the $200 whatever would need the same alterations.

Note that I don't actually follow this, but it does make total sense to me.

Oh wait! Not beginner... it should be tyro, dilettante and enthusiast.

YES! I would totally take those.

Juliebird, you just made me laugh, though that may not have been your intention! I went to a small-town Christian Academy too, and my education is woefully incomplete. My biggest complaint is not English - although I taught *myself* that - it's math. I learned *nothing* of mathematics past algebra. I truly believe that I would not have failed calculus and I would be an astrophysicist now if I had gone off to college with either a college-prep background in math, or the awareness that I simply didn't know what I needed to know and I needed a tutor, stat. Instead I thought my sudden shocking failure in all my math classes meant I was really not all that smart after all.

I know the Bible, though! I won the Bible study awards every single year, marinating in the irony of being the only atheist in the school.

ZK, heh, I'm glad I made at least one person laugh (I think that's the best reaction I can hope for about a rant that's been stewing in me for years). I just hate that even now I still find myself staring at a word and wondering if I just made up the spelling for it. Spellcheck gives me confidence issues.

Annoyingly, spelt is a word in American English anyway. Get crabby about learnt, or dreamt, or something, spellchecker.

Today is wear chainmail to work day, if you're keeping track.

Spelt is two words! It's also a kind of grain.

Annoyingly, spelt is a word in American English anyway.

It doesn't recognize quinoa either. And I've just learned that quinoa is not actually a grain, and thus I can eat it.

Chainmail ... some days I could really use that. Or full plate armor. (veteran of public transit)