There have been times in our (very long) marriage when I've been utterly convinced it was the best decision I ever made. We were Meant for each other, Match made in heaven, etc., etc. And there have been times when I've been completely certain it was the worst thing I could ever have done to my life, that I'd forgotten what happy was like and I'd never feel it again. And there were endless reaches of time when things weren't bad, but certainly not good. Sort of grey and vaguely reassuring--if I need backup, it's there, but not in-your-face and glad to be there engaged, either.

To date, I'm not sure where the balance falls, to the good side or the bad. But there're no do-overs, and gods only know what would have happened down that other path, so I have no regrets.

Kids were the next step after marriage, and I'd have been a better parent, older, better for them, better for me, better for the marriage. No do-overs there either, but a few regrets.

I'm not interested in having kids or being in a relationship. I think my family's come to terms with the first one, and is baffled by the second.

I've mostly got my shit together, partly through reward systems and bribery and To Do lists and putting absolutely everything in my Google calendar. I can't seem to get everything together, and I'm working on not being so hard on myself about it. Because I guess I kind of do a lot, and maybe I should be impressed with myself that I'm not hiding under the bed?

And I'm trying to do things now, rather than just thinking about doing them. And that is why I went to London, and soon Hawaii.

I kind of do a lot, and maybe I should be impressed with myself that I'm not hiding under the bed

You do do a lot. You are awesome.

shrift, what Consuela said. Also, does anyone ever really get everything together? Aren't most people just pretending that they have everything together? Or am I just fooling myself?

does anyone ever really get everything together?

I am 54 and I don't, that's for sure. In fact it feels like I'm regressing instead of progressing, especially since I've been unemployed.

Aren't most people just pretending that they have everything together?

I hope so. Otherwise I've been fooling myself AND everyone else.

Most of my issues revolve around the fact that I'm not Tina Fey. WHY AM I NOT TINA FEY?

shrift, I'm impressed by the amount of walking you do!

In other news, when I actually sat down and DID the work, it didn't take that long. Work-wise, I think I am ready for vacation! (Other than actually taking the UPS things to the UPS store, but they're all packaged up and ready to go)

Of course, I haven't even started packing. Or figuring out what I want to wear while there that will both look good, and not make me pass out from heat.

Archive of Our Own Vorstigan fic has an amazingly high percentage of really high quality works. Archive of Our has a higher signal to noise ratio than a lot of fanfic collection, but the Bujold fic is on the high end of that curve.

Most of my issues revolve around the fact that I'm not Tina Fey.

Most of mine revolve around the fact that I'm not Samantha Stevens. Sadly.