I HAVE kids and I still don't know if I want them sometimes. Being responsible for other humans' lives? HUGE. But I think for all the pulling-out-your-hair moments and abject terror, there are a lot of wonderful things about raising kids that outweighs it. I'm pretty sure someone or something set it up that way, too, or a lot of parents wouldn't make it through the first year.

But I did learn my limits pretty quickly. Two kids in diapers? Not happening. More than the three I have, widely spaced? A really bad idea.

There is pressure -- there's still a huge expectation that you date (the opposite sex), you get married, you have children, you eventually move to the suburbs. And that has been changing for a long time. Society at large is just slow to catch on, as usual.

Take pleasure in your life, Steph, and do what you can to remind yourself of all the reasons your choice is absolutely right for you. In the end, what other people think is always their problem.

Oops. Left out a word.

I wouldn't call that compromise. Compromise necessarily requires that both sides give up something they prefer to maintain the relationship in the middle. It's not about one person conceding all their territory to make somebody else happy.

Well, yeah. That's why I put "compromise" in sarcasm quotes.

But I wish you had Gretchen back, too.

Thank you! I sort-of do. We got back in touch a few years ago, thanks to another mutual friend I lost and found again, and we talk a couple times a week and haunt each others' LJs. But it's not the same as being together. She can't leave where she is until her daughter is of age and her mother is, well, in a nursing home or dead. She won't ditch her responsibilities to her family, and I respect that. I could move there, but I would be miserable in that place, that is so terribly much like the place where I grew up and left as quickly as I could, and she knows this. So, this is our compromise: we talk often, I visit when I can, and in five years we'll be able to live where and as we please. (The Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise.)

Wow, I am filled with the desire to talk about myself today. I must be under some unexamined stress.

Wow, I still can't get over how crappily they dressed Tara. That corset dress is gorgeous, but man? A-line long skirts and layered shirts that cut her off at the hips? PEE-ople!

OK, Buffy deals with getting pulled out of heaven, and I cleaned the cat box. Baby steps.

I can't even face the kiddo convo today, because it's too real. So I am skimming, but I get the not wanting kids thing. FWIW, I totally know the GWS strip you're talking about, Steph, and yeah, it made me laugh a not-irony-free laugh.

Zen, I am sorry that Gretchen isn't able to be a FT part of your life right now...but I am glad she is part of it.

Keep talking, hon. I've started and deleted about 6 reponses to the kid and partner convo (and I think it was wise) but I am taking it to the journal, and thinking a lot about it.

Going to eat cereal now. With another goddamned banana. And drink more water, and sit in the sunshine for 5 minutes.

Sounds like a vaca, righ...INVOKING PERSPECTIVE NOW, off ass, bitterness avert.

BANANA. Dammit.

Oh my. Have we seen the Monsters of Grok yet? Tesla/Edison will make me break, again, my "rule" of not wearing t-shirts with graphics on.

Erin, thank you, and um, why are you eating bananas if you hate them?

So, I've emailed amyth and smonster's sassy gay therapist. We'll see what happens.

I'm sorry, this is SO not related to anything (except topic-wise, I guess), but I just saw an old news story about Sarah Palin's oldest having a baby, three months after getting married at 22. (The wife is 21.) Those people can kiss my ass SO HARD. Fucking sanctimonious hypocrites.

I totally know the GWS strip you're talking about, Steph, and yeah, it made me laugh a not-irony-free laugh.

Oh, it just made me laugh, sans irony. I mean, the myth is the sassy kid-free sexytimes lifestyle with bonus freaky toys, but the reality is...there are sexytimes and freaky toys, but there's also Tim sleeping on the couch with a cat on his head while I read gluten-free blogs. It makes me laugh because that's just how we roll.

I don't believe this is a real picture: [link]

Wasn't RuPaul the host of that SNL episode where Nirvana was the musical guest?

ION, my computer is on UPS. Gotta shut down now.

You know what's ordinary? The sun comes up in the morning and goes down at night. The seasons turn, plants grow, die, and new ones grow. People come together and sometimes they're nasty, but as often as not they're kind to each other. They make new people, and those people grow, and the cycle repeats. And, sometimes, a group of people find each other and provide support, encouragement, laughs and tears.

Ordinary isn't so bad.