I think what truth there is behind this comes from the fact that often -- though not always -- when someone is looking, they can come off as desperate, which is not very attractive. But when thy "stops looking," there can be an attitudinal change from not seeming desperate.

In your case, though, you joined up with a kink group because you were interested in pursuing that aspect of your sexuality. And it was very social too, such that you met somebody like Tim.

So while you didn't join the group to meet folks, you did put yourself out there in a place where you could mingle with the humans.

No, he refused to search my car, although it would've been funny if he'd touched the shirt I'd used to pull poison ivy up and still haven't washed.

Jesse, I miss Boston more for not seeing you than for not seeing my ex-boyfriend and I don't care how wrong that is.

Aw, so nice! You guys are nice to me today.

I wonder if they have nerd speed dating in LA. I'd love to go people watch.

So while you didn't join the group to meet folks, you did put yourself out there in a place where you could mingle with the humans.

It makes me sad that, since Tim and I are not out to very many people (except, you know, THE INTERNET), I can never speak up and point to myself as living proof of the axiom that if you just get involved with things you're interested in, you'll Find That Special Someone. (Because if I did, I would have to explain HOW, exactly, it was that I met Tim, and what interest of mine it was that I was pursuing.)

And I joined to meet folks, just not to Meet Folks in a naked way.

And I guess that isn't entirely true, because, well, it's a sexuality-based organization, and the possibility is always out there. I just wasn't *specifically* looking for a relationship. I was just trying to get out of the apartment.

Juliebird, WTH? That cop sounds like a total weirdo.

So if I did want to make a baby, I'd need to move somewhere like NYC where I can teach him to take a cab or subway by himself. When he's two.

Yes, I would love this in a baby. I'm working on trying to potty train my friend's one-year-old. With my mind. She's more interested in biting her dolls in the face and rubbing yogurt in her hair. I guess we're going to have to compromise.

Yes, I would love this in a baby.

Well, for the record, Emmett is now taking BART and Muni home from school in the East Bay.

It only took ten years of commuting across the Bay Bridge. See how easy...

Toilet training! Another EXCELLENT reason to avoid parenthood, and I'm not even kidding.

Holy hell, I never want to go back there!

Toilet training! Another EXCELLENT reason to avoid parenthood, and I'm not even kidding.

Matilda was toilet trained by her daycare provider. So you can pay for this service.