I am not advocating voodoo. Unless you can actually make the fetish-doll thing work. I just mean, fight fire with fire. Instead of politely responding to "*I* will be talking to X and Y" with "well, okay, keep me in the loop, then" try something like "Well, since it's MY responsibility, I need to be the one talking to so-and-so, and you need to cc me on any correspondence you might have" or whatever. Push back. She already dislikes you and you're "on her list", ooooo, you already know she's sabotaging you, so what the hell more do you have to fear from her? If it's your job and your responsibility, then you do it, regardless of what she's doing (or not doing), take over, run her over with the ruthless bulldozer of your efficiency, document everything, and if she has a problem, make her tell you in an email what exactly is her problem with you getting shit done that she's sat on for years. And if there are people who've been waiting on her to get their shit handled for years and you come in and actually do that, who do you think those people will soon be talking to? You. She can't "take over" and do a job without actually *doing it* unless someone lets her.
Or, you know, might be bad advice. There's always voodoo.
When her husband isn't doing something she wants, instead of actually saying anything, she pretends she's talking in her sleep.
OMG, if I didn't know better, I'd swear you are making her up. Sock puppets are more belivable than she is.
When her husband isn't doing something she wants, instead of actually saying anything, she pretends she's talking in her sleep.
That is the most ridiculously passive-aggressive thing I have
ever heard in my life.
That is sitcom material, right there.
'Suela, I swear I now want you to "sleepwalk" into her office and tell her off, pretending to be asleep.
try something like "Well, since it's MY responsibility, I need to be the one talking to so-and-so, and you need to cc me on any correspondence you might have" or whatever. Push back.
Yeah, it doesn't actually make any difference, is the problem. I've done that. I've done the "I'm the program manager" thing, and the "we're all on the same team" thing, and whatever, and none of it makes a difference.
I have no authority over her and no one who does has ever exercised their authority. She is functionally unmanaged.
I'd swear you are making her up
I know. It's totally Mad Men.
Damn, I'm supposed to be on vacation. And instead I keep stewing over this.
My next idea is to ask my boss for a twice-monthly meeting, all of ten or fifteen minutes, to review project status.
Damn, I'm supposed to be on vacation. And instead I keep stewing over this.
Perhaps I'm all sunny-side-of-the-street on this, but it might not hurt to get yourself out of this environment, even though it's not on your terms. If you're stewing on this during your downtime, that's not good for your mental health.
Feel free to tell me to shut up...
I know. It's totally Mad Men.
I don't know what you've been watching, but Mad Men is not a bad wacky sitcom.
Mad Men is not a bad wacky sitcom
No, but it does have a lot of cutthroat office-politics informed by weird gender dynamics.
Hey folks, can I ask for some advice/suggestions on writing a response to people who are shocked and dismayed that their argument against the suggestion there should be more diversity in the characters of a comics-based RPG could be seen as in any way defensive or hostile? Here's what I have so far:
I'll come right out and say it: I DO see hostility and discrimination when a LGBT issue (or similar issue dealing with women, or African Americans, or another minority of some sort) is raised and straight men promptly come out of the woodwork to declare their belief that it's a non-issue and argue that the people who raised it should settle down and be happy with the status quo rather than asking for improvement. And do so repeatedly and vehemently, despite the alleged unimportance of the issue. It's not burning-crosses-in-the-front-yard/throwing-rocks-through-the-windows style overt hostility and discrimination, but when anybody questions the rationale behind a matter of straight white male privilege I can pretty much start a countdown to the appearance of someone who (1) feels threatened by attention being focused on a problem or inequity that he's not on the losing end of, and (2) wishes everyone would just stop talking about it.
