oh, and hivemind? where do kids get the idea that adoption means not being wanted? I know kids are often just cruel for no reason, but where do they learn that saying someone is adopted somehow will be interpreted means they are second best or unwanted?

I think it comes from fear. Either the fear of parents dying or the fear of parents abandoning them. That and kids can be just cruel for no real reason.

Some kids also know instinctively how to poke at a sore spot. Some of it is just testing, and some of it might be that fear -- "MY parents would never give me away" -- and they have to make kids who have been adopted Other and Different so they can convince themselves they're safe.

Growing up is so hard. Give mac extra hugs.

ita's cousin at Wimbledon! That's awesome. Speaking of tennis, we caught part of a really good ESPN documentary about McEnroe and Borg the other night. Such an interesting story.

Oh, poor mac being on the receiving end of that. I think it's what they all said. Testing of social boundaries.

Impromptu winefest on the decks. A & B (sink source) and I. And Loki, who went back and forth and spent a lot of time in A's house. Goof. Anyway, we're totally trying to convince B to build a deck like ours, but connect it with a walkway to A's. Heh. And they were so adorable about telling me how happy they were that I bought this place. I'm so lucky. Oh and they LOVED the pea salad. As in, threatened to keep it all. Score for impulse no recipe salad making. Maybe I have some taste.

And it's also because different families are hard for them to understand.

Today's been game day. Right now Noah and Grace are working on Very Hungry Caterpillar puzzle. We also played Candyland (twice) and Chutes and Ladders. Noah was working the puzzle mostly on his own and Grace was helping. She was disassembling the pieces he put together and I said, "Grace, don't do that." Noah turned and snapped at me saying, "You have to be nicer to my sister."

Tag teaming perfected.

I saw my niecephews today and it's such a distinct dynamic. Twins...

Did you hear the TAL piece this weekend with the rather neurotic, but completely besotted father of twins? Or as he put it ***ing twins, which he thinks should be the proper terminology because they are a completely different animal than a singleton.

I remember you guise explaining to Noah that Grace had the same last name as he did, and the light was beginning to dawn on his face that she was something to him, and this wasn't just a visit from a friend.

It was beautiful.

OMG, so earlier I tweeted this:

Couldn't eat breakfast AND make it to yoga, and breakfast won. Later, Slut March and Pride Family Picnic. Westboro Baptist at both!

Now, occasionally I've had random people reply to my tweets, and I got two from this one. One saying something about "Is yoga really good for you?" with a link I didn't go to, and one saying this:

Be there girl! :-) Don't let lunch stand in the way! >[link]

From someone I didn't recognize. So later I was like 'Huh, wonder who that was/what that's about" and went to look...and she wasn't meaning the yoga, she meant the Westboro Baptist--the Phelps clan tweets! Weird.

---

That's....super weird. So she was reading it as you supporting Westboro Baptist at both events, and encouraging you to attend?

I feel violated somehow, and I'm not even involved. Like, maybe I should shut down my twitter account now that I know this, creeped out.

Heh.

Although it's probably just coming on the heels of my mom's car saying "nevermind" to me and playing me Celtic punk off my phone as soon as I get in that's making me start to thing unsettling things about this whole convergence technology bit. I go through these luddite phases. And then I just accept the new (violation of privacy) normal and move cheerfully forward.