Goodness Consuela.

I would be tempted to go passive aggressive and pop my head in her office and say "you know, I think your email account is having some difficulty because I don't believe you are receiving some important email messages I have sent. I fear you are missing other important email messages as well. Have you been having difficulty?

Wear a pushup bra. Squeeze them between your arms. There are lots of tricks.

Wear a pushup bra. Squeeze them between your arms. There are lots of tricks.

True 'nuff.

And they're always talking about their balls. I'm sure there is some teense percentage of women who care but really, that's a pretty boy concern.

Ack! I'm also sorry about the Weiner news. (Even that sounds sadly funny.)

I would be tempted to go passive aggressive and pop my head in her office and say "you know, I think your email account is having some difficulty because I don't believe you are receiving some important email messages I have sent. I fear you are missing other important email messages as well. Have you been having difficulty?

I would do that, too, but instead of having a F2F conversation, I'd e-mail her and copy the IT department and her boss.

Here I am in the bout Saturday night!

I would be tempted to go passive aggressive and pop my head in her office and say "you know, I think your email account is having some difficulty because I don't believe you are receiving some important email messages I have sent. I fear you are missing other important email messages as well. Have you been having difficulty?

Tempting, but no, it doesn't work. Nothing works. She in fact deletes email on purpose so that nobody can know what she's working on, or when. She never saves anything to the public/shared drives, either, so if you need something she's working on and she's not around, you're SOL. She outright lies about what she's doing and constantly misrepresents the status of her projects. She blames other people for her errors and undercuts the more junior staff she's supposed to be mentoring. At one point she had a bunch of project files hidden away in a locked cabinet so nobody else could access them and nobody could find out how much work she wasn't getting done.

But she reports to the division chief, not my boss, and he won't hear a word about her.

Which is another reason I cannot wait for the reorganization to be finished, when I can finally go up the chain of command and ask to have my projects redistributed because she's "Clearly too busy."

God, Connie...I'd have long ago killed her. That's ridiculous.

But what female anatomy pic is going to obscure size with an absurd shot?

You can TOTALLY make your tits look bigger, if that's what you're going for. Or even not--there are definitely shots of mine where I'm like "Wow, that's...not representative, but awesome!"

God, Connie...I'd have long ago killed her. That's ridiculous.

Seriously.

I'd have long ago killed her. That's ridiculous.

It really is. I have had people from outside entities, with whom we have fairly important legal relationships, call me and tell me they've been trying to get her to do something for them for four years, and she won't. So they want someone else to do it. And I send the request up the chain of command--and it ends up back on her desk. Because she's the expert.

I joked with some other coworkers (everyone on the staff knows what she's like, but I and a couple of the other women have it worst) about not missing her much if she got hit by a bus, but I feel bad about it. She's quite pleasant in person, but I cannot bear her.

Once I ended up at lunch with her and she asked about my employment situation, and before I'd half finished explaining the whole thing, she was trying to convince me to quit! It was like something out of a movie. And yet she seems not to understand that we all know what she's doing.

She really is like something out of Mad Men, operating with the belief that the only way to protect herself is to undercut everyone else--especially the other women.