I've been wondering what the opposite of demisexual is.

I'm not sure there is an opposite; does there have to be?

asexual people don't experience primary sexual attraction

So they might have sex as a biological feels-good function, but they're not attracted to one specific partner or type of partner?

I actually have a hard time answering this, given that I'm on the demisexual side of things. I really, truly, don't understand wanting to fuck someone because they're hot, or because of some physical whatever it is that happens between people. I have never, ever experienced that. t edit And I'm probably not even describing "sexual attraction" properly, because I. Don't. Get. It.

Disclaimer: I sure the hell can't speak for asexual people as a group. I'm still trying to figure my own self out. So please bear that in mind.

I don't know that it's particularly common for asexual people to have sex *just* because it's a biological feels-good function, though I'm sure, as always, there are statistically asexual people who do. Because the whole point of asexuality is being not interested in sex with a partner, if it's *just* a question of feels-good sexual feelings, I think masturbation is more common.

but they're not attracted to one specific partner or type of partner?

They're not *sexually* attracted to any partner. Romantically, sometimes, yes.

Thanks for answering, Steph. It's fascinating to consider the breadth of human sexuality.

So would an asexual person have sex with someone else to maintain or develop the relationship with the other person, not because they were especially interested in the Doing of It?

I'm not sure there is an opposite; does there have to be?

Well, in that everything needs a word...but it was something that had occurred to me a couple days ago. Because, really, I tend to not have sex with people I have an emotional connection to. They aren't as physically attractive to me anymore. I want a label.

There's a FCM conference happening in town this week. It stands for Federation of Canadian Municipalities...everytime I see it mentioned, though, I crack up.

I'm not sure there is an opposite; does there have to be?

Well, in that everything needs a word...but it was something that had occurred to me a couple days ago. Because, really, I tend to not have sex with people I have an emotional connection to. They aren't as physically attractive to me anymore. I want a label.

Oh, I get it! That's a good question. I'm not aware of a label, but I see how it's the opposite of demisexual.

So would an asexual person have sex with someone else to maintain or develop the relationship with the other person, not because they were especially interested in the Doing of It?

I think so. My POV is more demisexual -- I have The Sex with Tim, and actually *want* to. I have a hard time calling it "sexual attraction," though, because it's more that I want to have sex with him because he's *him,* not because of...whatever it is that happens when people are sexually attracted to each other.

I'm having a REALLY hard time articulating this, partly because it's only been the past 6-ish months that I've started puzzling this out, and therefore haven't really worked out a coherent Mission Statement re: My Sexuality; and partly because it's really hard to talk about something that I literally don't understand (the whole sexual attraction thing).

There's a FCM conference happening in town this week. It stands for Federation of Canadian Municipalities...everytime I see it mentioned, though, I crack up.

Do they have hats? Trucker hats? I would love a FCM trucker hat!

Because, really, I tend to not have sex with people I have an emotional connection to. They aren't as physically attractive to me anymore.

Huh. I think I'm the opposite of ita on this.

When I play FCM, I have to imagine that I'd hang out with the F person a while so I'd get to know them first.

I have to imagine that I'd hang out with the F person a while so I'd get to know them first.

I have rather dramatic commitment issues. The idea of being needed freaks me out a great degree. So the less opportunity for that to happen, the better.

Also, there are some people I figure would ruin a good, shallow, thing they got going on by actually talking, and I should forestall that with nookie.

In the real world, people talk. And connect. It's unfortunate.

Speaking of sex, this is the one book I was disappointed I couldn't get at BEA: a book of essays about sex by women writers and edited by Erica Jong, who also contributes. She was right there! I could see her! But you needed a ticket to get in line to have a galley autographed, and I didn't have one.