This year was all about change for me. Not all good, or maybe I should say easy, but the big things are the ones I hold onto: Sara and Ben are happy and healthy and in much better schools, Jake is making some shaky progress toward maturity, S. and I still like to be with each other more than anyone else, and we're in a much better place, geographically, and able to spend much more time with my family.

Next year is going to present some challenges, but also some awesome opportunities. I'm grateful for what I have, and the chance to do some things better, and I'm always so very thankful to have this place as a touchstone on a daily basis. You people have given me so much -- support, encouragement, hope, friendship, laughs, recipes, porn, and really questionable links to very wrong things. I can't imagine 2011, or any year, without you.

Oh my goodness, I forgot that this year brought me Frankie, the most unexpected doggie! I love him to bits and can't imagine my life without his silly snorfling underbite.

I'm sitting here listening to a recording of the Medical Mission Sisters, from the 1960s or 1970s. It's all scratchy, and I wish I could get new, but it's beautiful music, all folksy with lovely tunes and fun harmonies, and it brings back wonderful memories.

For me, 2010 has been the same mixed bag of good and bad as most years seem to be. I love my job, despite budget and other woes, but my fibromyalgia seems to have come back with a bang, and together with other health issues, my body feels pretty crummy much of the time. We've lost too many good people, especially recently, but my sweetiepie kid from church who joined the marines seems to be doing well, even though I'd druther he weren't in Afghanistan.

However, the biggest change in this past year, is that despite ups and downs, overall I seem to be able to handle life with more equilibrium. For example, I've been terribly bothered for years by noises that others seem to take in stride (the drip drop of the heating system, neighbors' music, and the like). This doesn't bother me nearly as much now, and when it is annoying, I've developed pretty effective coping mechanism. It's not perfect, but so far it's good, knock on wood!

Like the rest of us, my parents are aging. I worry about my dad, who is still great fun but is finding it hard to get around. I wish we lived closer to each other, but don't want to give up my life where I am now either. It really would be lovely if we could have a device to keep those we love close without giving up our independent lives. Miracleman, where's our transporter?!

I've always had a rough relationship with my mom, but we had a huge blowup when she said some almost unimaginable things to me. It was so bad that I was afraid it might be a sign of some sort of dementia or the like, and also wasn't sure if I would be able to maintain communication. After great advice from some people that I trust, I decided that the only way to salvage the relationship was to get advice from a counselor. It was wonderful! She gave me some fantastic, practical tips, and now my mom and I are communicating again, albeit with some strict, well-defined boundaries. I'm still concerned about possible physical neurological issues that might be affecting her personality, but I'm really not sure what to do about that at this point. She has done this to more than me, so I don't think that the problems are just at my end, but she does fine with most, so it's not clear cut.

The cats are wonderful, and doing well. The goddaughter and her mom don't follow my advice as gospel truth (really!), but they're wonderful too. Although I don't have a partner or children of my own, and that does sadden me, I'm blessed to have fantastic children and adults in my life.

Reading over the other summing posts here, I'm sad to see the difficulty and loss, but am heartened to see that some have had pretty a good year despite difficulties. I've seen years here when those with good years were almost sheepish to post with all the woe others had faced. I don't mean to minimize the heartache; there has been too, too much for too, too many, and I want to hug you all and make it all better. It's nice to see the joy, too, though.

Hmm. I seem to have made up for my year of lurkiness in one fell post.

eta, not as long as I thought.

Sending good vibes out to so many. It's been a hard year for so many buffistas.

Most of the good parts of my year could be personified by DH and the kids. Most of the bad has been my MiL's worsening health.

I wasn't really sure I wanted to do this, but I just went back and skimmed through my 2010 LJ entries (very few of them) and decided a review is good for me.

At the end of 2009 I decided to move back to Texas for many reason, and that defined most of 2010 for me. In Feb. we came to Texas and I visited school and looked at houses, found ones I liked and made an offer on a house that was accepted. We closed on the house March 30th. The place in NYC didn't sell quite as fast, but it did sell and that one act allowed me to pay off all my credit card debt and the new house. really truly blessed and fortunate, I cannot tell you how thankful I am that my family was in the position and willing to float me money between the two closings so that I could do this.

Mac started having issues around Feb in NY, probably sensing that a change was coming. We lost two sitters because of his behavior and I had to modify my work schedule so I could pick him up from school everyday. Most of you do not know this, but Trudy stepped in to be a sitter/helper for us and really saved a huge part of my sanity for the last part of mac's school year. Thank you Trudy.

I embarked on a wacky attempt to cook up all the food in my house prior to the move and it was highly amusing. I sold things, I gave things away, and sadly the day the movers came, I left my vintage turquoise and chrome clothes dryer in the basement of my building. We flew out of NYC on July 17th.

The move has been a good one, after a rough first month, mac has blossomed and matured. I am loving my yard and house, and have made a few friends. My job in NY kept me on as a consultant through the end of the year, so the job search will all be 2011.

The family is mostly in good health. My one living grandparent is 97 and while nothing major has surfaced, she is declining rapidly. Once mac stabilized here, I had a bit of a breakdown. It was a fairly scary week where I could not manage daily activities and didn't really recognize myself. Luckily the professionals took it seriously and gave me some emergency sessions where we worked out enough tools that I could use to get through the days. Mac is off his impulse control meds and I have tapered of my anxiety meds (possibly too soon, we shall see).

I read more in 2010 than I did in 2009 and was really happy to read books from 3 Buffistas. I turn 40 in 2011 and do not really see myself as anything like my parents were at 40. I have more money in my bank than I ever have, but I don't have a job. I had fewer friends in my meatspace life in 2010 than I have had in years and I hope that changes in 2011, but I have zero interest in dating.

I look forward to getting to know this house a lot better in 2011 and making it more ours. Other than that, I just hope the surprises life brings me are more pleasant than terrifying. As always, this place and you people are really really really the family I have chosen and a constant that I depend on more than my blood family understands. I have a guest room now and I hope that folks who are cat tolerant will consider a trip to Texas in the coming year. I can promise you ridiculousness.

2010 has felt like being stuck in a rut, a lot. On the really good side, we bought a house, which while being a bit of a pain to renovate, looks really lovely now and is great to live in (and I really will get round to taking pictures when there's more light).

On the rut-y side of things, I started the PhD that I've been wanting to do forever, and even have little bits of funding for it slowly trickling in. But, partly because of problems organising disability support, I currently have no enthusiasm for it, and am generally feeling worn out by struggles over making my life fit my disability (or maybe it's vice versa). I'm hoping this will improve - it usually does. It's especially tricky against the background of the 'current economic and political climate', with my writing and campaigning focusing more and more on the mess that the government seems to want to make of disabled people's lives. Here's hoping for campaigning successes in 2011, and that my many friends who can't afford to heat their homes will have their voices heard.

In family stuff, the Girl's father's condition isn't changing, and she continues to fly out to various countries every other week to help look after him (and never once complains about how many people she's charged with taking care of). We've had to postpone our wedding, which was meant to be in May, because it just seems inappropriate at the moment. I'm trying not to be a childish whiner about that, and to be supportive and understanding. (This is hard for me. I'm working on it.) The exciting news is that her father VERY slowly seems to be coming round to the idea of our relationship. He's even considering coming to the wedding. He's said he would before and then changed his mind, but we're hoping this time he actually means it. It would be so nice for The Girl if he did.

We are quite sad that we've had no guests in our new home yet, so, like msbelle, I extend an invitation to anyone who wants to visit (Atlantic Ocean be damned, and I hope there are Buffistas developing matter-energy transportation devices). I can't wait to meet sj this year! And it was great to meet Shir at the end of last year and Jars this year. I hope for more mini-F2Fs. You all rock immensely, and you've been an incredible support this year. Good people, you Buffistas are. Very good.

Who was it who was quoting Counting Crows last night, in Bitches, I think? It was a good quote. "It's been a long December, and there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last."

So. Sitting on the couch with a cold drinking tea on New Year's day, I've decided the new year doesn't actually start until Monday.

I didn't do secret santa this year, knowing I'd be out of town (and busy trying to fit all my work in before!), but it's fun to see everyone enjoy the prezzies!

So, 2010...um. I did a lot of travel. Not just for work (though that too)--to LA for Pix and Drew's wedding thing, to DC for the superbowl (and, turns out, the snowpocalypse), to Indianapolis for my dad's 70th birthday, to Chicago to be a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding, to New Orleans for Decadence, to San Francisco for country dancing, to Baltimore for drag kings, and of course, to Eastern Europe for Christmas. Yeesh! Plus people visited me--my sis and BIL for their anniversary, friends in my new house for a big drag thing, my sister and her BF for her birthday, my best friend for my birthday, SA for some Christmas fun...

And I bought a house. And got a roommate. Which has been weird, but OK. I think I'm still not realizing the whole "OMG, I own a house and that really means I'm staying here"

I didn't really date anyone, not for more than a couple weeks. I'd love for that to change in 2011. We'll see if it does.

I'd like to go outside the US again, this year. I was so excited to put stamps in my new passport. I'd had it a year and this was the first time I used it!

I'm still thinking about what I want to accomplish this year. I'll get back to you on that. :)

Seska, let's hope you're right. Here's some posting about my 2010. [link]

2010 good- finished paying off al my credit card debt in November. That is possibly the biggest accomplishment of my life, as I had pretty much resigned myself to dying in debt. This means I am free to do anything I want. I just have to fgure out what I want. My boss at work is no longer thinking I am sabotaging our department and is back to being a good boss (she was having some issues). I worked backstage on a show for the first time in a lot of years, and remembered what I liked about theatre and mostly had fun. I started eating even better than I had been, replacing my beloved pasta with greens. My BFF has had a compete turnaround in her life, with her husband becoming sober and finding a job in marketing that suits his outgoing personality, even in this horrible job market and with no degree.

2010 bad- My mother was diagnosed with diabetes. Her cat died of FLV. The other cats in the litter, save one, have also died, as has the mother. My uncle lost the sight in one eye due to diabetes. I was sort of diagnosed with diabetes after a horrible persistent skin infection/rash that made me miserable for 2 months. I have been very withdrawn from everything, including my mother, who I can't really handle being sick. I thought my eating better (which really means no pasta, as I actually ate pretty good before) had cured me of my stomach ailments, but I have spent the past few days with tummy upset. I continue to feel unsuited to both my regular job and the one at the theatre.

2010 neutral- I accidently lost 20 pounds, and am very conflicted, as I have been really into fat acceptance and Health at Any Size. I know that it is because of the eating changes I made because of the diabetes scare, but I wish I had not weighed myself (I succumbed to temptation on Christmas Eve, where there was a scale, and the doctor weighed me in September. It makes me feel a little obsessed, and like I want to try and lose more and more to prove that I can, which makes me feel guilty.

Hmm, 2010. No near-nervous breakdown or horrible screw-ups, yay!

I wrote more. I started kinda-seriously writing fiction, as in selling some stuff to Steampunk Tales, and in seriously working on a project that I'm hoping will be my Next Big Thing.

I got to see people I love, and had a wonderful Halloween at Drew & Kristin's place. I didn't get to spend as much time with my friends as I wanted, and I really need a teleporter.

My hopes for 2011: write more. Get paid for it. Sell the next book. Be healthier. Travel and see people. Yeah, that sums it up pretty well.