I think, frankly, we're trapped in many ways because previous generations often had elderly members of the family living with their kids--but they didn't live as long with chronic health issues.

So there were fewer elderly needing assistance, and often the family was larger, people lived closer together, and because the elderly were generally in good health the burden wasn't as great. (That said, my maternal grandmother had COPD and needed pretty regular care for the 3-4 years she lived with us.)

Anyway, that was the expectation my parents grew up with: that their parents would live with them when they aged, and they would live with their children. But both my paternal grandfathers died before they were 65, and only one of my grandmothers lived past 75. There was much less of an issue with long-term medical/nursing care.

Not to mention the fact that all the kids work, and we're geographically pretty dispersed. And here it is, again, with the daughters carrying most of the burden.

I find myself terribly resentful, and then feel guilty for being resentful, because they're my parents and I should be willing to sacrifice for them.

It's not hookers and blow, but it's mildly amusing, although I was not cheered by learning that 80% of the nation's carrot market is controlled by two firms.

Marketing carrots as fast food: [link]

Hookers and Blow!

Also, I just had to send an email to a vendor at Stanford saying, "um, you just redesigned your web site, and we are still using IE7 as our standard browser, and now your web site won't work on our standard browser, because it's still IE7, so what should we do?"

edit: interesting crosspost with Teppy.

Believe me, I feel like a jackass for being glad my dad will probably not go through a long decline.

And I am, in fact, thrilled that my mom doesn't want family to care for her. She would be the devil.

I find myself terribly resentful, and then feel guilty for being resentful, because they're my parents and I should be willing to sacrifice for them.

I am right there with you, and I'm not even faced with the type of situation you are. I just resent being the only person my dad ever turns to, EVER, for every problem that EVER pops up. Including the fucking GPS.

After going through what she has with her mom, my mother is pretty much just, "If it gets bad, hold a pillow over my face, please." Which is awful, but I get where she's coming from. She's an only child, my grandfather died almost twenty years ago, and caring for her mom, even not at home, has been really hard.

In circle-of-life news, my coworker's wife just brought their baby to visit. Yay baby!! Super cute and little.

This conversation has me googling retirement communities in New Orleans. This place looks pretty nice.

my coworker's wife just brought their baby to visit. Yay baby!! Super cute and little.

I think office morale would improve if there were weekly baby visits.

t edit And/or hookers and blow.

My mom is the first to tell anyone who will listen that it's a mistake to try to take care of people in declining health in the home. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this again, Burrell. And so often it is the women who end up doing the caretaking and making the decisions for both their own parents and their husbands' parents. (This is not to cast aspersions on any of the Buffista men, several of whom I know have been involved in caretaking.)

My mom has also been clear that if she's not able to take care of herself, I'm to do whatever I can to speed her passing, as long as I'm in no danger of going to jail for it.

I would like to be struck by lightning while gardening at age 90, please.