Work advice: I have a coworker who touches me. She walks up and pokes me in the arm, or puts her hand on top of my head when she comes up behind me and I'm sitting at my desk. This is NOT ON as far as I am concerned, but I think she sees it as friendly affection (we are fairly friendly). She's 30, and a librarian. Yesterday she took to pulling my ponytail. I asked her not to when I was sitting at my desk, and then said "stop it" fairly firmly when she did it again after sitting down next to me at the conference table as we started a meeting. She apologized. But today she walked up to replace me at the desk and poked me in the arm. Argh. Is there anything to be done?

coworker flinging Trebuchet?

Yeah, that's hard. I have a touchy coworker who I like, but yeah, no.

I'm sorry, I probably should have mentioned earlier, I don't really like to be touched. I think that's what I'd say.

"Please don't touch me."

For all my conflict-avoidance at work, if someone did it repeatedly, I think I'd just up and say it. It's so fucking inappropriate. Pulling your hair? Seriously?

That would make me nuts, flea! I think the only thing that will work is DJ's response. Very cut and dry.

I have a rash and it's contagious.

When I saw CK I didn't know anything about it. At the end when Rosebud was revealed, I said, "That's it? It's a dang SLED?" I was annoyed that it was so mundane. I guess I missed the whole longing-for-childhood thing, or whatever it was.

A co-worker pulling my hair? Oh, hell no. Glare of Death! One co-worker/friend tugged one of my curls once and said "Boing!" as it bounced back, which was amusing, but also annoying.

I don't like it either, but I do know when the kids were little, I could tune it out, because I was so constantly being patted and clutched or whatever.

One day we were at an office lunch and I was talking to a friend. I realized someone else had been pulling my sleeve for probably five minutes, and when I finally looked at her, she said, "Wow, you really are a mom, aren't you?" (NB: She kept doing it because I didn't react, not because she was annoying or usually like that.)

Pulling your ponytail is ... inconceivable.

Am I the only one surprised by the fact that flea's hair is long enough for a pony tail? I know that I've been skipping and skimming, but now I really feel like I've missed a lot.

I think DJ has the right answer, although I might soften it by saying "...to be touched or poked as a greeting. I'd appreciate it if you could just say, "Hi, flea!" from now on.