However, until I was about 15, my parents had convinced me that my middle name was Vegomatic.

Your dad still has me convinced that it really is Vegomatic.

I assume you claim otherwise because of your total need to fit in and not seem weird or something.

{{{Jilli}}}

My porn name would be Buffy Degnan. Not bad.

Ooh, naming conventions, I have lots of family lore!

For me, my paternal grandmother gave my mother a list of acceptable Russian girl's names and my mom picked the one she liked best, and then tacked Marie on in the middle because it flows nicely.

My mom was named almost like lisah - Grandma and Grandpa hadn't considered the possibility of a girl, so when mom was born Grandma panicked and Grandpa instantly suggested Shirleymae Elizabeth. No one knows where that came from.

Dad was named for Prince Igor like the opera and (I believe) the Firebird, because his father was Oleg.

My grandfather's family named the boys by where they were born, which is how Grandpa got to be called Weed. They put Guido on his birth certificate, but everyone called him Weed and he legally changed it when he grew up. I know he had a brother named Reno but I forget the rest of the brothers' names.

Finally, I have lunch. I wish I'd had a lunch break.

My boss lectured me about cancelling meetings at the last minute. Except he was the one that cancelled it at the last minute. I dunno.

My boss lectured me about cancelling meetings at the last minute. Except he was the one that cancelled it at the last minute. I dunno.

Was he all, "Learn from my bad example" or "Do as I say, not as I do"? Or is he projecting?

Or is he projecting?

It had a very tsk tsk tone to it. Sure, I was happy to cancel, except I had to do all the prep work anyway, and spent 20 minutes sitting in the meeting room to catch people who didn't get the notification.

My middle name is after my grandfather.

Lord of the Rings as performed by one dude [link]

My porn name would be Cindy Noon. Not very exciting. Or Bagdad 19th, which sounds more like a porn name from a weird dystopia.

My pseudonym (for when I write a best-selling YA novel and sell out to Hollywood) is Cecilia McMahon. You heard it here first! (It's my maternal grandmother's first name and my paternal grandmother's last name.)

ION, I just found out more information about the never-ending zombie hiring process. Turns out the previous Big Boss in charge of my division unilaterally changed my job title/series/description, without telling anyone (not even me). So when they tried to announce and rehire me, they couldn't because that position doesn't exist anymore.

t head-desk to infinity

So now they're looking at yet another temporary appointment, or hiring me for the short term through a contractor, which means all-new (different) benefits and shit like that.

I'm pretty much decided to leave early and start drinking.

That whole thing is like a masterclass in bad employee retention.

I'm pretty much decided to leave early and start drinking.

Sounds like an excellent plan. Are they going to announce and (re)hire for this phantom new position? (Obviously not soon enough).

Consuela, who do you work for?! All I keep picturing is that commercial with monkeys overrunning an office.

My porn name sounds like it should be my soap opera name instead: Priscilla Coolidge.

If I could come up with my own porn name, I think it would have to be Angel Kake.