Huh. Guess I'm going to be in San Francisco from June 21-23, and probably in Mountain View the rest of that week.

My husband is laughing at something he's reading on the internet. So's I innocently ask him, "What are you reading?" Answer? "I have no idea."

Answer? "I have no idea."

I can relate.

I'm getting sort of nervous about leaving for the ship on Saturday. I had a huge blowout with my mother tonight, which was only half-related to the job, but I'm sure I made it worse by being all on-edge and terrified, and that's not really something I can talk to her about. My mother isn't very good at helping you deal with anything that's bothering you, as she invariably gets so upset that you are upset you end up consoling her instead.

The problem tends to be that I start to get nervous and freak out about major changes (and I feel like shipping out to Australia to go live on a boat is a pretty major life change) and I get paranoid. What if I hate it? There's nothing I can do, six month contract is a six month contract. I'm not very good at making friends in the "real" world. I had this amazing bubble of friends at my university and I live in this constant fear that I will never meet people as amazing as they are ever again. And then when I start thinking about how insane it is that I am going literally to the other side of the world to start a job I still know nothing about, I start freaking out that I have no idea what I really want to do with my life and how I don't have any of the things I sort of wanted to have at this age and how I am so far in debt I'll never get out of it and - that's where I am now. What started as normal nervousness has escalated into sheer insanity.

I can't really bring it up with my family, because I'm the "brave" one who runs off and does this sort of thing, and my mother would just start crying because that's what she does when I'm upset. And then tell me I'm ungrateful. That's her other favorite.

So I'm not sure what it is I'm asking for here but I think I just needed to type all that out. Freaking out; trying not to.

I will never meet people as amazing as they are ever again

You won't, not the same way. But new people are crazy tricksy, and they fit holes you haven't carved out yet.

You're going to have an adventure. That's going to be mighty cool.

Wow, Dita looks demure and shit.

Wow, Dita looks demure and shit.

Not so demure here (yet totally SFW, seriously): [link] I never understood people who had a uniform fetish, and therefore never had one myself, but...that picture might be changing my mind. Holy moly.

You're going to have an adventure. That's going to be mighty cool.

Just this. You know yourself well, and you went for this; I reckon you can trust yourself. In any case, no matter how it goes, it'll be an experience. It'll be something that you can look back on and see how it expanded your frame of reference. You're going to come back better for it. Frankly, that's awesomely cool. Plus, Australia!

It'll be good, zuisa. I'd totally enjoy hanging out with you, and so will the new people. Be open to it. Let things happen. And they will. You've already put yourself in a good position, so take advantage of the newness.

Plus, zuisa, since you're staff, you have a built in excuse to talk to people (OK, to the people on the cruise, but) which always makes it easier. Then if people are stupid or suck, you just chalk it up to "Hey, I was just doing my job" And if they're awesome, you have an awesome job!

Just popping in to offer sympathy, strength, hairpats and peace to Jilli, Pete and Jilli's family. I'm so sorry, dear heart.