We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm the hero!

Wash ,'Jaynestown'


Natter 67: Overriding Vetoes  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, nail polish, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


amyth - Jan 20, 2011 7:35:54 am PST #17757 of 30001
And none of us deserving the cruelty or the grace -- Leonard Cohen

ita, I hope you can get your meds soon.

My life has officially reached such depressing proportions that people don't know what to say to me anymore.

The wife of one of my temps (okay, I'll say it, my favorite temp) died night before last. She had been battling lung cancer for eight months, and it had metastasized to her brain. He had taken the past few weeks off to spend with her. She had just gone into hospice last week while I was out of town. The wake is tonight.

Meanwhile, my 15 1/2 year-old dog hasn't eaten anything except for a few bites since Saturday. She's been slowly fading over the past year--she's blind, has arthritis, Cushing's disease, is incontinent, on three medications, and has gone from 22 lbs. to 13 lbs. in the past year, but she has held on and even had moments of sprightliness. But the vet told me a few weeks ago that she was showing signs of kidney failure, and now she just seems to be winding down. She doesn't seem to be in pain, but all she does is sleep and drink and pee. Mostly sleep. I keep expecting to find her not breathing.

I was just telling my co-worker that I just hope that she doesn't die today, because I really don't want to miss E's wife's wake tonight, and she said, "I...don't know what to say to that."

Finally, I talked to my sister-in-law yesterday. As of yesterday, my brother has been in the hospital for 96 days, and has been in hospice for six weeks. He's been off the feeding tube since Christmas. My SIL, who has been at his bedside this whole time, still sobs every time I talk to her on the phone. I can't even cry anymore. Not for her, or my brother, or my dog, or anything. I'm just going about my day, working, doing trivial things, surfing the web, waiting to see what happens next.

I'd be worried about how dissociated I am about all this, but I'm too dissociated to give a shit.


Strix - Jan 20, 2011 7:38:54 am PST #17758 of 30001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

DRUNKEN OWL! That made my week.

I am sitting in the spinach, feta and olives corner. Sadly, D depsises olives, which was almost a deal-breaker, until I realized that all the olives can be mine!

I slept in later today than I have slept in in a LONG time -- 11 am. I guess I am still sleeping off the flu I had.

KC got between 5 and 10" last night -- it looks like about 7" at our house. I wonder if we'll have yet another snow day tomorrow -- reports are that side streets won't be touched till tomorrow AM, since the crews are so busy working on main arteries.


Scrappy - Jan 20, 2011 7:42:16 am PST #17759 of 30001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Oh, Amyth, I am so sorry. All of this at once is such a heavy slog for you. You are getting through it, which is the best that you CAN do, really. I wish strength and whatever comfort you can find each day.


SailAweigh - Jan 20, 2011 7:46:17 am PST #17760 of 30001
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb

{{amyth}} Your brain is protecting you right now. Trust it to know how much you can handle, because that is a serious amount of shit to process.


Daisy Jane - Jan 20, 2011 7:47:22 am PST #17761 of 30001
"This bar smells like kerosene and stripper tears."

amyth, I am so sorry about all of that.


Liese S. - Jan 20, 2011 7:50:21 am PST #17762 of 30001
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."

Oh, amy, that's so much. Yeah, dissociation is not entirely a bad thing right at this moment. Thanks for the update.


WindSparrow - Jan 20, 2011 7:51:50 am PST #17763 of 30001
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

{{{amyth}}} you are having such a tough time, right now. I think Sail is right, about your brain. Right time, peaceful passing~ma for your dog. I wish I could wrap you up in a blanket made of love and comfort.


Typo Boy - Jan 20, 2011 7:53:09 am PST #17764 of 30001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.

Amyth I'm so sorry you are going through this. I remember how overload of grief can make you feel temporarily numb. It is a perfectly normal response.


SuziQ - Jan 20, 2011 8:01:13 am PST #17765 of 30001
Back tattoos of the mother is that you are absolutely right - Ame

Numb is your brain protecting itself. Normal. Even so, I wish I had that magic wand that makes everything better.

With CJ being suspended and me being "mean mom", we aren't going to go to the Food Network thing tonight. I am bummed but can't justify a fun outting for him.


Polter-Cow - Jan 20, 2011 8:09:45 am PST #17766 of 30001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

Oh, amyth. I'm sorry all of this is happening at once. {{amyth}}