Back in the day (and I really just mean the late 80s on into the 90s), my mom dressed like a hoochie. She had the body for it, and she was only in her early- to mid-40s. But I had a recurring fear that, if I ever married, she would turn up at the wedding in a tight, short, spangly dress and 4-inch stiletto heels. I mean, she thought those were acceptable to wear to weddings at which she was a guest, so I assumed that she'd want one even shorter, tighter, and spangly-er if she were the MotB, so she could really SHINE. After all, it would be HER day, right?
These days she dresses like a hippie, in long flowing loose embroidered dresses and comfortable sandals. So my fears are allayed.
he only way this can be made better is if you agree to be buried inside a jumping castle.
OMG, I am now picturing people in black throwing themselves into an open grave...and suddenly FLYING BACK OUT. Like some sort of crazy cartoon. I love it.
I'm going with the "black to funerals, no white to weddings" Midwestern type plan. That may be influenced by the fact that I am wearing a "317" shirt that my sister just sent me for Christmas, so I am extra repping the midwest right now (it's the Indianapolis area code)
OMG, I am now picturing people in black throwing themselves into an open grave...and suddenly FLYING BACK OUT. Like some sort of crazy cartoon.
Mourner: "Take me with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
Grave: "No."
Seekrit message to Cass:
there is a lighter in the coffin
one of the cool old butane ones that's engraved and smells cool when you put the flame out
Oh, I'll jump. I just think it'll be hysterical when I get spit back out. Still, toy surprise at the end. I love old lighters. The sounds of the flints are cool.
Hey! No open flames in the jumping castle! You'll burst the coffin!
Ima just bounce in, get the toy surprise, and then go cry quietly outside. Making snicky sounds with my new lighter. Cause that's how I mourn.
Viking funeral is fine as long as you fuckers are all in black.
