P-C, the buffistas are wise. I hope it helps at least a little.
Seska, where are you and TG living now. I'm starting to plan our big trip to England in May and I definitely want to see both of you.
Reavers ain't men. Or they forgot how to be. Now they're just nothing. They got out to the edge of the galaxy, to that place of nothing, and that's what they became.
Mal ,'Bushwhacked'
Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
sj - Nov 30, 2010 2:27:19 am PST #9805 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Zenkitty - Nov 30, 2010 2:44:15 am PST #9806 of 30000
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
Polter, your parents' Guilt-Fu is strong. I hope you're not taking it to heart.
If you've never had a relationship before and you don't feel ready for marriage, you're probably not. I think it's unlikely that your parents will ever understand what this means. Am I correct in assuming that their marriage was arranged, the same way they're trying to do for you?
You're right that you should stop resenting the potential future wives on principle, though. It would probably make the inevitable meetings easier to deal with. After all, it's really your parents and this unpleasant process that you resent, not the girls that are being tossed at you (some of whom probably feel pretty resentful, too).
I wish there were an easy way to solve this problem, but there isn't.
Aims - Nov 30, 2010 3:02:32 am PST #9807 of 30000
Shit's all sorts of different now.
Guess who woke up to a brand new SIX YEAR OLD??!?
WE DID!!
Happy Birthday to my Emeline!!!
sj - Nov 30, 2010 3:11:01 am PST #9808 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Wow, Six?!? Happy Birthday, Emeline!!!
Sparky1 - Nov 30, 2010 3:25:07 am PST #9809 of 30000
Librarian Warlord
Happy Birthday to Em!
Shir - Nov 30, 2010 3:29:01 am PST #9810 of 30000
"And that's why God Almighty gave us fire insurance and the public defender".
Happy birthday, Emeline!
The good news: I'm finally awake.
The bad news: it's 15:28.
meara - Nov 30, 2010 3:48:07 am PST #9811 of 30000
Shir, I'll trade you--I was supposed to get up at 430 this morning, and was woken up at 330 and couldn't sleep after that. Now it's 545 and I really hate already being on a plane at this hour. Grump grump grump.
lisah - Nov 30, 2010 4:43:50 am PST #9812 of 30000
Punishingly Intricate
There is nothing wrong with getting married later in life.
SERIOUSLY!
Happy Birthday, Em! yay for 6!!! Such a great age.
§ ita § - Nov 30, 2010 5:04:00 am PST #9813 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
It snowed every winter when I was in London. But that was usually not until January, and then only for a little.
Fred Pete - Nov 30, 2010 5:07:00 am PST #9814 of 30000
Ann, that's a ferret.
Happy Birthday, Emeline!
A few additional thoughts, P-C.
Deciding who to marry (or whether to marry) may be the most important decision you ever make. You'll be committing to spend the rest of your lives together. True, some marriages don't work out -- but if there are any children, you'll still be connected to each other for a very long time.
You're going to have to live with the person you marry. You're going to have to make the joint decisions with her. Not your parents -- YOU. So you need to be comfortable with your wife. Your parents, not so much.
People haven't been saying much about your comments on Doctor Girl. I say, if you're interested in each other, see where it goes. If waves are made, so be it. (And for what it's worth, I'd bet -- let's see, I have a couple bits of lint in my pocket -- that your parents wouldn't be too upset with you finding a wife they consider ethnically acceptable in an unorthdox way, in light of your brother's relationship.)
Has anyone ever done everything 'right' in the eyes of a parent, lover, etc. and then enjoyed endless peace in the family?
I did the "right" things in my parents' eyes for a long time. But other family conflict developed. And the moment I did anything "wrong," there was a huge blow-up.
I was the Golden Child in my family for a long time. Straight A student, got into a very good college and law school, and so on. My younger brother felt a lot of pressure to live up to my record (especially in a small elementary school where we shared quite a few teachers). And he decided not to. We fought constantly as kids, and after a certain point, he fought with our parents a lot as well. At one point, we ended up in family therapy -- which people like us Just Didn't Do in the mid-70s.
My parents reacted very badly when I came out to them in the early '90s. That was eventually patched up (though I didn't speak to them for about 2 years), but my mother in particular took a dramatic shift to the political right in the '80s and '90s. After 9/11, she started saying some very ugly things, includingn attacks on people not of her political and religious beliefs. Attacks that I took personally. And when I told her so, she again reacted badly.
Eventually I cut off contact because I didn't like how angry I got whenever I spoke to anyone in my family. (The main ones keeping in touch were my mother, and the even more rabidly right-wing cousin who's advocated for a military coup in my presence more than once.) That was about 7-1/2 years ago. Some family members send cards for my birthday and Christmas, but I don't open most of them because I don't want any contact on their terms.