Happy Birthday, Emeline!
A few additional thoughts, P-C.
Deciding who to marry (or whether to marry) may be the most important decision you ever make. You'll be committing to spend the rest of your lives together. True, some marriages don't work out -- but if there are any children, you'll still be connected to each other for a very long time.
You're going to have to live with the person you marry. You're going to have to make the joint decisions with her. Not your parents -- YOU. So you need to be comfortable with your wife. Your parents, not so much.
People haven't been saying much about your comments on Doctor Girl. I say, if you're interested in each other, see where it goes. If waves are made, so be it. (And for what it's worth, I'd bet -- let's see, I have a couple bits of lint in my pocket -- that your parents wouldn't be too upset with you finding a wife they consider ethnically acceptable in an unorthdox way, in light of your brother's relationship.)
Has anyone ever done everything 'right' in the eyes of a parent, lover, etc. and then enjoyed endless peace in the family?
I did the "right" things in my parents' eyes for a long time. But other family conflict developed. And the moment I did anything "wrong," there was a huge blow-up.
I was the Golden Child in my family for a long time. Straight A student, got into a very good college and law school, and so on. My younger brother felt a lot of pressure to live up to my record (especially in a small elementary school where we shared quite a few teachers). And he decided not to. We fought constantly as kids, and after a certain point, he fought with our parents a lot as well. At one point, we ended up in family therapy -- which people like us Just Didn't Do in the mid-70s.
My parents reacted very badly when I came out to them in the early '90s. That was eventually patched up (though I didn't speak to them for about 2 years), but my mother in particular took a dramatic shift to the political right in the '80s and '90s. After 9/11, she started saying some very ugly things, includingn attacks on people not of her political and religious beliefs. Attacks that I took personally. And when I told her so, she again reacted badly.
Eventually I cut off contact because I didn't like how angry I got whenever I spoke to anyone in my family. (The main ones keeping in touch were my mother, and the even more rabidly right-wing cousin who's advocated for a military coup in my presence more than once.) That was about 7-1/2 years ago. Some family members send cards for my birthday and Christmas, but I don't open most of them because I don't want any contact on their terms.