To be fair to the cops--they never know what they're going to be facing. They're getting information from the 911 dispatcher. Not all local police forces have the same kind of training or knowledge in dealing with mental health issues.

I've worked with some local NAMI chapters in helping get training for officers so that they don't unintentionally escalate a mental health issue in cases like this. It's not easy and not all departments are receptive.

I agree that it's not easy. And that's why I was trying to convince this guy to de-escalate the situation because cops come at situations never knowing when someone is going to shoot at them. But I'm mad that so many agencies jump right to committing someone. There are people at different stages of depression where they're not a true danger to themselves and are no danger to others and they're not going to call a hotline for help if calling one gets them in a situation with the cops outside of their house grabbing them to take them away. What happened today placed additional strain on this guy and his gf. It made things worse, not better.

Spidra, I'd suggest that the guy look for a local NAMI chapter's consumer support group--see if there is a more user-friendly way for him to get some support that doesn't include commitment or frustrating hotline calls.

Thanks, Cashmere. I've linked to that resource.

It sounds like (for better and/or for worse) there's a combination of things going on that add up to the police response.

I do understand that therapists and such are required by law to report any credible threats of suicide.

"Credible" is a very flexible word. Your idea of what's credible, and my idea, and the idea of a person at the end of a 911 line, are probably three different things. Add in

If they don't, and the individual follows through, the liability is staggering.

In a litigious society, the therapist now has a lot of incentive to refer someone to 911 and little incentive not to.

I don't know the answer. Cashmere's NAMI suggestion is probably as good as any because it gets the guy a chance at help without judgment. Or if you trust your friends and family enough to say, "I've got a problem," you might be able to get a name.

one of the editors that publishes my writing told me this morning that he had a dream about me. I really wish he hadn't. Although, yes, Ego's all "Score!" I started this flirtatious thing without really intending to, and now I wish we'd have been a bit more business-y. But now, what I want to say is "Dude! I'm heartbreakingly attainable and non-mysterious. To a totally earthy fault. You are just blinded by being literally blinded(Should I read anything into the fact that the last two people to come onto me have never seen what I look like?) and the whole wife-in-New England thing.) Philip Roth would love this story. Except we haven't even groped or anything. It wouldn't be quite fucked up enough. But, seriously, me? Some shikse doublemint dream girl? That's funny. But it seems mean to laugh when somebody shows you his subconscious. Why couldn't somebody I'm into tell me that?

(a) It's crappy that 911 responded that way to his call

As noted aboved, it's all CYA rubbish. If anyone calls 911 and says key words like "suicidal" or "don't want to live" we HAVE to send in police. If they say anything that might indicate they have already hurt themselves, medical has to be started also. And since medical responders aren't armed, they will NEVER go into a situation with a patient who might possible be armed to in any way dangerous without the popo already onscene.

It's a crappy, crappy situation and it sucks being part of it. In a calltaking capacity, we also have to keep the person on the line until police make contact in order to make sure they aren't gonna come out shooting. This can lead to very long, awkward conversations. I think we can all imagine being suicidal only to well....then add on some random stranger on the phone trying to make small talk. And the suggestions we are given in training...oy vey. "is there anyone else in the house with you" "no! i'm all alone!" "any pets?" "my dog died yesterday" . You get the idea. I usually try to get into hobbies, crafts, movies, tv shows....anything NOT directly related to the person's miserable life situation, but that's a personal choice having been there myself and knowing that pushing hotbutton issues tends to make things worse.

SOP's are about CYA, liability, and worse case scenarios. All the cops in my area are "CIT" certified (crisis intervention training) which is supposed to mean that they don't approach the mentally ill or unstable like criminals and have special tactics to deal with people in a crisis situation. Sadly, you don't find social workers in the police force and personal safety is always #1. Whenever family or friends call, i TRY to refer them to resources because 911 is always gonna be worst-case-scenario and never a pleasant experience for anyone involved in mental health crisis.

To be fair to the cops--they never know what they're going to be facing.

I was thinking the same thing. Just yesterday, we had a sheriff's deputy serve a misdemeanor warrant at an apartment complex not too far from me. The guy being served came out of the door shooting, endangering passersby and injuring the deputy. Then he barricaded himself inside his apartment. The police finally talked him out by offering him a cigarette.

The police finally talked him out by offering him a cigarette.

yet another lesson on the dangers of smoking. You should never be so desperate for a cigarette that you succumb to arrest to get one. Or, make sure that you always have at least a pack in the house.

He's given up calling hotlines when in a bad depression place because, he says, they just feel scripted, and if the conversation gets too involved, they'll tell you to call 911.

It's such a sad truth that real, compassionate human contact is sometimes hard to come by...especially in any kind of organized 'system.'

I hate that we have grown into a CYA culture that makes it so hard for people to get what they need, but have no better idea of what to do. Thank goodness, I have a list of 'saves' long enough to soften the blow of the many 'fails.'