one of the editors that publishes my writing told me this morning that he had a dream about me. I really wish he hadn't. Although, yes, Ego's all "Score!" I started this flirtatious thing without really intending to, and now I wish we'd have been a bit more business-y. But now, what I want to say is "Dude! I'm heartbreakingly attainable and non-mysterious. To a totally earthy fault. You are just blinded by being literally blinded(Should I read anything into the fact that the last two people to come onto me have never seen what I look like?) and the whole wife-in-New England thing.) Philip Roth would love this story. Except we haven't even groped or anything. It wouldn't be quite fucked up enough. But, seriously, me? Some shikse doublemint dream girl? That's funny. But it seems mean to laugh when somebody shows you his subconscious. Why couldn't somebody I'm into tell me that?

(a) It's crappy that 911 responded that way to his call

As noted aboved, it's all CYA rubbish. If anyone calls 911 and says key words like "suicidal" or "don't want to live" we HAVE to send in police. If they say anything that might indicate they have already hurt themselves, medical has to be started also. And since medical responders aren't armed, they will NEVER go into a situation with a patient who might possible be armed to in any way dangerous without the popo already onscene.

It's a crappy, crappy situation and it sucks being part of it. In a calltaking capacity, we also have to keep the person on the line until police make contact in order to make sure they aren't gonna come out shooting. This can lead to very long, awkward conversations. I think we can all imagine being suicidal only to well....then add on some random stranger on the phone trying to make small talk. And the suggestions we are given in training...oy vey. "is there anyone else in the house with you" "no! i'm all alone!" "any pets?" "my dog died yesterday" . You get the idea. I usually try to get into hobbies, crafts, movies, tv shows....anything NOT directly related to the person's miserable life situation, but that's a personal choice having been there myself and knowing that pushing hotbutton issues tends to make things worse.

SOP's are about CYA, liability, and worse case scenarios. All the cops in my area are "CIT" certified (crisis intervention training) which is supposed to mean that they don't approach the mentally ill or unstable like criminals and have special tactics to deal with people in a crisis situation. Sadly, you don't find social workers in the police force and personal safety is always #1. Whenever family or friends call, i TRY to refer them to resources because 911 is always gonna be worst-case-scenario and never a pleasant experience for anyone involved in mental health crisis.

To be fair to the cops--they never know what they're going to be facing.

I was thinking the same thing. Just yesterday, we had a sheriff's deputy serve a misdemeanor warrant at an apartment complex not too far from me. The guy being served came out of the door shooting, endangering passersby and injuring the deputy. Then he barricaded himself inside his apartment. The police finally talked him out by offering him a cigarette.

The police finally talked him out by offering him a cigarette.

yet another lesson on the dangers of smoking. You should never be so desperate for a cigarette that you succumb to arrest to get one. Or, make sure that you always have at least a pack in the house.

He's given up calling hotlines when in a bad depression place because, he says, they just feel scripted, and if the conversation gets too involved, they'll tell you to call 911.

It's such a sad truth that real, compassionate human contact is sometimes hard to come by...especially in any kind of organized 'system.'

I hate that we have grown into a CYA culture that makes it so hard for people to get what they need, but have no better idea of what to do. Thank goodness, I have a list of 'saves' long enough to soften the blow of the many 'fails.'

Luckily we were able to talk him into reaching out again. He went to the pastor of a church he used to go to and the pastor listened for an hour. He seems to feel better.

You should never be so desperate for a cigarette that you succumb to arrest to get one.

So true!

It's weird the way one's weather expectations change. The sun's mostly out, so I can look at the thermometer and says "Hm, 28 degrees, not so bad I guess. And hey, it's going to be in the mid-30s this week! Balmy!"

That IS the message!

See, he didn't misconstrue it. It's all good!

Next year I think you should get him a giant cuttlefish. They have a habit of cross-dressing, which the females find very sexy.

Plus they are wicked smart.

Yay, beth, for the interview going well! Fingers crossed!