Shit at dinner and a mess to clean up v. a fun, uplifting time and shit later? I'd ditch if I could.

I got the nicest invitation to Tday today from folks I like very much...but who have some issues. I had been planning on a really peaceful, introspective day on my own...given I've spent Tday with the bff for the last few years...but I think I'll go anyway. 6 kids. The biggest Irish Wolfhound in HISTORY. Seriously, that dog is taller than me (5'0")on all four feet. Plus a troubled granddad and completely untrained Lab puppy.

Fun!

Time to make my famous cranberry sauces.

ION, Bartleby is crunched up behind me in a swivel office chair. He has 7/8 of the seat and I'm perched on the edge. And he's snoring like a buzzsaw. Do I indulge him? Uh. Yeah. (He has to ask permission first, so we've got that going for us.)

In something good happened today news. After finishing up the core integrity in relationships conversation here, I got a surprise call from my oldest friend in the world. He was on my doorstep, having dropped his wife off at book club. N and I were in high school together in Union City CA 32 years ago. We co-won our school's highest award and had great respect for each other. He lives about 15 miles from me now. We don't get together often, but when we do, it is totally natural, easy and enjoyable.

I feel so fortunate to know him and it was a treat to be able to sit with him for a while.

You love your family! Silly girl.

I do love my family and I have a great time on Tday but I am sad that I never get to spend it with you guys. I haven't seen you in so long, I started eating my pancakes from the outside last week!

I would definite ditch Thanksgiving if I could. I thought about it this year, because of my severe family overdose, but my mother sounded pathetic. She's not, as they say, getting any younger. Also, there are some things that need fixing.

ION, Bartleby is crunched up behind me in a swivel office chair. He has 7/8 of the seat and I'm perched on the edge. And he's snoring like a buzzsaw. Do I indulge him? Uh. Yeah. (He has to ask permission first, so we've got that going for us.)

Heh.

Bonny, you'll appreciate this. Darby climbed her front legs onto the couch the other day begging for a piece of bread. (This was mid hunger strike.) Bad behavior from a normal dog, but so exciting for her! I couldn't get her to replicate it, of course. But still. You pretty much have to put treats directly into her mouth, or drop them and walk away for a while, before she'll trust that it's not some kind of trap or mindgame.

I've also caught her - twice - almost, almost picking up a toy. Of course, the moment I walked into the room she dropped them like they were on fire. But there was definite slobber on them so I know I'm not imagining it.

Go Darby with the budding confidence!

Not that you asked for advice, but to help make her to engage her 'dogness' and push past what is going on in her mind, up the ante where the treats are concerned. The smellier the better. If she doesn't go for what you have now, try chicken hot dogs (lower in sodium), salmon treats (fishy good!) or organ meat treats. Bartleby will tap dance for lamb lung.

Also, it may seem woowooie, but I recommend a technique developed by a fellow named Kevin Behan. It's called The Push. It might seem weird, but I have seen it work with extremely shy dogs. One was being fostered by a wonderful young couple who feared they would never rehome her because she feared everything. They were desperate, so we pulled out the odd guns. Two weeks later, she was adopted, totally out of her shell.

If you'd like a copy of my simplified handout...I cut out a lot of the background pseudo-zen...drop me an email. If you want the full story, look him up on google.

I remember you talking about that before. I'd love to see your handout.

She's so much better, honestly. It's so incredible to see the changes in her. But it's still baby steps, so anything I can do to boost her confidence and help her believe that this is all for reals (as opposed to generally waiting for the other shoe to drop) is welcome.

Discovered something new about her the other day. She gets her hackles up when she's excited - all the fur around her shoulders and neck goes up. But there's a dog who's been at the park lately who genuinely intimidates her. The other dog is big and plays aggressively, but that doesn't bother her with others, she dives right in. This dog - who is doing nothing wrong - has a different effect for some reason.

But anyway, turns out, when she's actually feeling really threatened, she has a stripe of hair along her spine that goes up like a ridgeback. All the way from neck to tail. So odd.

when she's actually feeling really threatened, she has a stripe of hair along her spine that goes up like a ridgeback. All the way from neck to tail.

My cat Leo does that when the UPS guy comes by. Don't know what he's got against UPS...

Huh. Maybe she has some Rhodey ancestors.

I'm glad you are paying attention to her particular quirks. So many people see a specific expression and assume it means something it does not. Hackles, tail wagging, loud barks, etc. often don't mean what we think they do.

As for the dog she doesn't like. He doesn't have to be doing anything wrong for her to simply not like him.

I get that question a lot from people who want to make their dogs get along with all dogs. "Why doesn't Foofy like Max?" The only thing I can say, besides Max is unaltered and smells funny, is "Do YOU like everybody? I don't!"

I'm glad to hear that she likes dogs at all. That bodes well for her growing confidence.

OMG I just had a fabulously delicious dinner with Nora and Tom. One of their gimmicks was housemade cotton candy served with dessert, and it was reaalllly good. I think they should do some infused flavored ones. I had seared duck breast with a delectable turnip purée (really) and goat cheese cake drizzles with Dr. Brobson Lutz's "honey from the hood."

Am now back at the condo waiting for B to get in.