Why am I reading primal signals of aggression as come ons?

Well, it's context-specific, I guess. Personally, I don't like it even when it's in the context of a romantic interlude with a partner.

When I first moved to Chicago, I could always tell the streetwalkers in my neighborhood because they would immediately make and hold eye contact with me.

Well, it's context-specific, I guess.

My context-o-meter is broken, because I've never read it as aggression. Every time someone looks at me too long I think they're a creeper in the bad touch way.

*However* I probably make and maintain more eye contact than, say, Steph is comfortable with, when I'm in a solid and alpha mood. Especially in a public speaking/meeting context, it's my do-my-bidding hear-my-words gesture, and I'm always making eye contact with someone, if there are more than three people in the room and I'm talking.

Business one on ones? I spend most of the time on the person's face, and 50% of that on their eyes. WHILE TALKING IS HAPPENING. It's only while not talking that I start to get the bad feelings.

Also, dunno if this applies to lesbians, but one way to tell if a man is probably gay (and you're a man) is make and hold eye contact with him - a straight man will generally look away pretty quickly, but a gay man will hold eye contact with you.

I find eye contact the way it's described in fiction to be very confusing because it's always in the plural ("gazed into her eyes") when really, you can only focus on one eye at a time unless you're pretty far away.

Ha! I've never been able to gaze into more than one eye. I always assumed that was because only one of mine actually works at any given time.

Yeah, I'm another one who has a hard person maintaining eye contact when talking to someone. It makes me a little uncomfortable, like we're too close and intimate.

OMG, I made the worst eye contact faux pas once, because I forgot the guy could see me. Sunglasses, you know. I stared and stared and stared and soaked up his yummiliciousness. And then I remembered that...he was the one wearing sunglasses, not me.

So completely fucking busted.

But the ensuing makeout session was kinda worth it.

I never know how much to use. I think the magazines/consultants use WAY more than I'm comfortable with. But I also have issues from being stared at. But the articles about eye contact are often part of that "firm handshake,use first name to create intimacy," thing that I kind of hate. So I'm pretty sure I'm always doin' it rong.

I always assumed that was because only one of mine actually works at any given time.

Me, too, bonny!