Oh my STARS and garters! Happy BatBirthday, Jilli!
Book: Yes, I'd forgotten you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned? Simon: No. But I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.
'War Stories'
Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
beekaytee - Nov 17, 2010 11:48:23 am PST #8775 of 30000
Compassionately intolerant
tommyrot - Nov 17, 2010 11:48:38 am PST #8776 of 30000
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
Birthday Happies Jilli!!!
Laga - Nov 17, 2010 11:48:56 am PST #8777 of 30000
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.
Hippo Birdies, Jilli!
Scrappy - Nov 17, 2010 11:52:27 am PST #8778 of 30000
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Happy bat and chocolate-filled birthday to the splindiferous Jilli!
hippocampus - Nov 17, 2010 12:02:06 pm PST #8779 of 30000
not your mom's socks.
Happy Birthday Jilli!
Laga - Nov 17, 2010 12:15:59 pm PST #8780 of 30000
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.
We are being vewy vewy quiet because the baby is a light sleeper.
sj - Nov 17, 2010 12:17:09 pm PST #8781 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Happy Birthday, Jilli!!!
Aims - Nov 17, 2010 12:17:46 pm PST #8782 of 30000
Shit's all sorts of different now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JILLI!!!
Zenkitty - Nov 17, 2010 12:27:06 pm PST #8783 of 30000
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
I like this, so I'm gonna say it:
Happy Bat Birthday, Jilli! Many more, same Bat time, next Bat year!
Okay, I'll stop now.
Zenkitty - Nov 17, 2010 1:00:54 pm PST #8784 of 30000
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
bonny, your description of your difficulties with your friend ("friend"?) reminds me strongly of a situation with a friend of mine, years ago. I could be projecting, but... When you talked about why you were friends and listed what you'd done for her and what she'd done for you, it read to me like, "I gave her emotional support and useful advice on communication skills, and was always available to help her out whenever she needed something, and she introduced me to her friends, bought me stuff, and hung out and watched TV with me." Of course, I don't really know you, and certainly don't know her, but that struck me as a terribly one-sided relationship, heavier on your end than hers. And the way you phrased it made me wonder (if that were true) if you even realized that what she was giving you didn't really cost her anything. Whereas what you were giving her was both valuable to her and costly to you.
You've spent a lot of time and effort and emotional pain learning to how to communicate the way you do, and learning how to understand yourself. Most people don't, most people can't, and some people never recognize any such need. (Remember that article about how incompetent people often cannot recognize competence, and even devalue it because they can't understand it? I think the same is true of emotional competence. Some people lack it so completely they lack awareness of it; they can't even see it when it exists in others.) When you say you want her to give back to you no more or less what you've done for her, maybe she can't. And I'm not saying the means you should let her poor little self off the hook, I'm saying maybe that means she's always going to be a drain on your energies, as you do the vast majority of the emotional "work" of the relationship, and if you can't accept that and find something worthwhile in her friendship despite that (not saying you should!), maybe you're better off without her.