Fuck that noise, I want alcohol.

It is possible I have a couple issues.

Might have been me! I am all about the empty water bottle. I'm packing lunch on Thursday, too.

I arrive at the airport with an empty water bottle and an empty portable brita (they're like water bottles but tough to drink out of.) then once i'm thru sec use the brita to fill up the water bottle for the flight. I find water fountains at airports taste nasty.

One glorious flight i got upgraded to first class and there was all the beverages i wanted on demand. But usually NSM and i would turn inside out like a salted slug if i had to wait for in flight beverage service.

I don't have the room to carry all that stuff. But I need to make that decision or stop whining.

I did use to carry apple cider packets, because I wanted hot drinks with no caffeine. I also had a lemon powder phase for less sweetness. But it was always dependent on someone else's water.

I am flying WITH TWO CHILDREN on Nov. 24. Taking the shoes off is hassle number one (I have been required to take soft leather moccasins off a baby before), the liquid and gel thing is hassle number two (I am going to try to do carry-on only to avoid the insane baggage charges, so I need to go shop for some miniature deodorants). Photographic nudity is the least of my worries.

And the coffee`s not half bad. Must remember to ask them what brand it is on the way home.

I am going to guess it's Boyd's.

I find the rules of flying annoying mostly because I don't think a lot of them actually make things safer, but I know the rules when I book a flight. So those are the rules.

I still think I will skip the scanners (very, very politely) if it comes up. The small town at the edge of a huge military base where I grew up has a startling number of weird cancers.

All that said, when I flew a few days ago there was a rouge 4+ oz aerosol bottle that hid in my luggage from a non-fly trip. It got searched and while I was, "totally an accident, totally my fault and you can totally throw it away because I am flying carry-on and have no desire to go check my luggage and go through security again, my bad, really sorry." The guy let it go through. The world can feel safer now.

Toothpaste is my biggest fluid issue. I can't find my brand in travel sizes, and when I switch up, my teeth feel unclean and my mouth tastes funny. I've never had an issue with deodorant--my standard sizes have always been less than three ounces--you might want to doublecheck, flea.

bonus to switching over to bar shampoo: can carry it onboard outside of the restrictive ziplock bag, leaving more space for wee lotions and lip balms :)

Mario Badescu's online three samples per order is my travel life saviour.

Thanks, 'istas.

In case there's spare ~ma around - tomorrow they're gonna discuss my salary and terms at work. ~ma for "give Shir tons of money and great terms*" would be appreciated.

• Sadly, I doubt said terms will include cabana boys, but money would be good. Did I mention that most of the said money will be used to purchase certain airline tickets to see certain inhabitants of a certain online board?