Because I need the little. Even if it isn't a lot. I need the little.

I'm glad you said this as well, Sean. We know we can't be all things to all people, but we can be a little something to some people. (Both Universal 'We' and Buffista 'We'). Thank you again for sharing with us.

People will certainly be racist pricks at home, but they tend to start slow

In a Cross-Cultural Diversity class I had the opportunity to ask a black guy who grew up in Alabama whether we're really less racist (in CA or SoCal) or whether it's the same all over. He said there're racists everywhere, but that we at least tend not to be so blatant about it. Normally I'm a fan of honesty, but I think we can all agree this is a good one to keep under wraps. IOW, sorry you're dealing with that crap with unfortunate regularity where you're at.

Oh, I want to be clear, its NOT a regular thing. Its just that when it happens it leaves me staggering.

I had a friend who grew up Coloured in Cape Town. He'd talk about how in New York sales staff would follow him in stores until he spoke to them and sounded suitably fancy with his Britishy accent -- at which point they'd be all buddy-buddy. In his experience apartheid had been easier to deal with because as long as you played by the rules no one gave you shit.

Because I need the little. Even if it isn't a lot. I need the little.

Sean, that's just gutting because it's so true. I have been in that place and I don't envy you. I just want more than anything for you to see a way out and I know it will come, but I also know that doesn't really make it any better now.

I don't think racism is an unchangable characteristic. It's an opportunity to educate.

I remember someone saying out loud that the reason there are so many Mexicans is because they don't believe in birth control. I don't think that person thought she was racist at all, and I still don't know if she is. I do know that that was a racist thing to say. So I told her, and I told her why.

I don't care what you are; I care what you did. [link]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Sean, and that it hurt you so badly. Thank you for telling us.

"random cheerfully racist and don't you agree with me, perfect stranger?"

I get the "random cheerfully patronizing and don't you agree with me, perfect stranger?" version. Three days ago I was standing in a line to get my membership in the students' union. You get a gift with it. Since I carried a lot with me, I didn't want to take anything else (they offered mugs and such). As I said "no, thank you" and turned away, a loud woman on the parallel line turned to me, shocked, and started lecturing me about how I'm Totally Wrong and should take this gift and give it to someone else.

I just love it when people think they Know All About Me and therefore Order Me What To Do. Hey, Know-All, you should carry on your already-sore back over 20 pounds of books and laptop, and then we'll see just how eager you'll be to carry something extra you don't need.

Trudy, I hope your sister's surgery goes as well as mine did. I had my gallbladder out in 2000 and it was pretty uneventful. I hope she heals swiftly and well.

Thanks, Spidra.

She's in surgery now. I'm just sitting around waiting.

Oh dear. I think I may have a new imaginary boyfriend. That guy from the link I posted earlier has a bunch of them. I think it's the really pretty eyes+progressive politics+clever and funny that's doing me in. [link]