Oh, Sean-- when my ex-husband dumped me, he told me he had an affair because I was "unlovable". That he tried, but no one could EVER love me because I was an awful, dull and unkind person, or desire me either, because I was fat and unattractive. So, it was my fault. I was too fucked up and ugly. It broke me. Totally.

It took a couple of years of serious therapy for me to get over that. But I will say that I was a much better person after being broken than I was before and if I had a chance to do it again, I would, in order to have gotten to the place I am now. I think you will get to that place and I hope your path there is quick.

Sean, she was a using bitch, and I'm sorry you had to go through that.

YES. THIS.

Sean, I am so sorry you had to go through that. You are a wonderful, charming, handsome, and loveable person. What that woman did IS NOT a reflection on you; it's entirely about her damage and her being a horrible person.

Sweet mother of Jesus, Sean, what a... I don't even know. I have no words. What she did was so incredibly, massively fucked up, I can't even articulate it.

I do want to echo Jessica: it took a lot of courage for you to share that with us. I am incredibly angry and sorrowful on your behalf, but knowing what happened to you gives me some clue into what you are going through now, and I am grateful for that, at least, because hopefully we can be more present and helpful for you now.

I wish you could hear and believe this, but you are a dear and lovely and wonderful and GOOD human being, one I am happy to know. You didn't deserve to be treated like that.

I think that someone who could do something as shitty as what that woman did has demonstrated that she isn't someone whose opinion -- of you, or anything at all -- can be trusted.

If a good person has something negative to say, that probably deserves some consideration. But a shitbag like that -- not one syllable out of her mouth deserves consideration.

I know there's probably nothing anyone can say that will actually console you, though I wish it could.

There are people who deserve to die. The list just got longer.

I can't help feeling like that evil bitch chose you because she knew you were vulnerable. Fuck her and her stupid game.

Jesus, Sean. I know "I'm sorry, that's completely fucked" isn't much, but cripes.

That. And if you'll ever meet someone from that gang when I'm around, Sean, I want you to point them out to me. Not sure what I'll do, but I'm sure it'll be Things I Learned in the IDF (yay, pressure points!).

Nothing on Sean's scale, but I had a best friend for a few years. We also worked together. We agreed on almost everything. And then, when I consulted another friend on a work-related thing I wasn't sure about (she told me something has to be done in a certain way, I didn't agree), she freaked out, told me I've betrayed her (in those words) and steered up a huge fight. She later told me (for the breaking up was a few months process) that if I have doubts, I should keep them between the two of us and never tell anyone else.

I'll take Definitions of Unhealthy Relationships in 500$, Alex.

Today I know she wasn't grown enough to accept that being a friend doesn't mean being a mirror of the other person. But that hurt. Coming to think of that, I didn't have a Best Friend ever since.

Edit just to say it again: Sean - you deserve to be loved. {{{}}}

My brain is in such a tizzy over this I can't even form a coherent thought. Dear god, Sean, that must have been horrible and you don't deserve that.

Some people are just mean, thoughtless shits and it sucks that they're able to do so much damage to good people.

What so many others have said...it was courageous of you to post that, Sean. And it is definitely that woman's issues, not yours. I know that saying that doesn't make it feel any less hurtful but I think with time it'll hurt less and you'll come to realize more and more that that was a deeply fucked up person whose words should not be given any weight due to the source. I'm glad you're getting some therapeutic help getting through this. And you will get through this.