The bartender hates you [link]

Blerg. So, latest arranged marriage update. My parents did lay off for a while, and, amusingly enough, everyone—by which I mean the greater Indian community, to whom my mother is beholden—assumed that I was going to India in December with them, and they would find me a wife. YEAH. SO DID I. HELLO. So she's been using the "excuse" that I can't get the time off work.

My first night in Budapest, they called three or four times at three in the morning because they didn't remember that I had already left, and I woke up to an e-mail about a potential future wife. I told them I couldn't answer the phone. My mom, to her credit, did not send me any more marriage-related e-mails during my trip. My little sister, however, did let me know they'd found some doctor girl who apparently read my crazy biodata and said yes. She was only trying to help.

The morning after I got back, I got a call from my uncle about said doctor girl that he'd found for me, and I really couldn't fucking deal with that on the weekend I was trying to relax and recover from two weeks in Europe. I got her information that night. I know little about her but that she majored in biology and English, which intrigued me. Pictures seemed fine.

I avoided calling home for a week because I didn't want to talk about it, but when I finally had to, I reiterated that I was done with the arranged marriage thing. My mom said that because it was someone my uncle had found and not some random other relative, she couldn't just dismiss him. She claimed that this would be the last one. I said that I already did the last one, there will always be another Last One. The girl is in Dallas, and I'm planning on going home for Thanksgiving since I'm not going home for Christmas (...at least not to see my parents). So they'll want me to see her. I can't decide whether it's worth it to keep refusing, if this really could be the last one, and what if she's the right one? I just don't know if I could put aside my resentment to give the girl a fair chance. I've been avoiding phone calls for the last week.

I think you're right that there will always be another Last One. I'd take a stand and make it stick.

You can find "the right one" by yourself. It doesn't mean you can't date suggestions by your relatives but it's pretty ridiculous to commute halfway across the country for a date.

Can you email doctor girl on the sly, saying something like you don't want to give ammo to the arranged marriage but that she looked interesting?

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Can you email doctor girl on the sly, saying something like you don't want to give ammo to the arranged marriage but that she looked interesting?

I honestly did consider that. I do have her e-mail address.

That's what I was about to suggest! Email doctor girl on your own, just in case, but don't tell the parents, keep telling them to back off (because there will always be one last girl)

I'm intrigued by the Bio/English major but I do think if you appear to be giving in to the pressure from your parents they will take that as a good sign that the pressure is working and lay it on even harder. I'm in favor of the secret email option.

Plus, if you DO hit it off, the secret email is so romantic!

Secret email! Find out if she is pro/con the running comma thing that causes so much kerfuffle around here. Ooo and her stance on chives!

(and we wonder why I am still single)