But its not an invitation. They're sick and they're making shit up.

I'm uncomfortable with the idea that how you dress can get you into trouble therefore you should watch how you dress. But I can't say I disagree with Dave Chappelle.

I don't think putting a sexy outfit on a non-sexual being sexualizes them. I think it's how you behave when dressed that way that determines whether or not you're sexy.

I tend to agreee with this, however I also think that there is sometimes not enough parental involvement in decisions such as what kids are wearing. I'm sorry - there is NO OTHER REASON your 13 year old is putting on a micro-mini skirt, thigh high stockings, and platform "hooker" shoes than to be "sexy". Nevermind the just "off the corner" make up. Age doesn't mean much about whether or not a kid is sexualized. Girls in particular are developing breasts and hips earlier (it seems) and therefore a 10 year old in a sexy Halloween costume is going to look sexy, regardless if she;s in the 4th grade or not.

I tend to not Our basic rule for Halloween costumes was that if it didn't adhere to the school dress code, then you couldn't wear it. Or, if your grandparent's wouldn't approve of it, then it's a big jolly no.

Then again, I'm a parent that is of the opinion that says, "These are the clothes I bought you, you will wear them. And if you buy clothes, and I don't like them, you still don't get to wear them." so I might be a little extreme on this.

Skippity skip skip skipping like a bad Buffista (I have a house guest at the moment, so I've been scarce) but wanted to update y'all on the crazycakes.

I have an AWESOME lawyer-- who is actually an IP/Trademark specialist and is seriously sharp. Anyhow, he sent me an email today with some preliminary thoughts and advice and this paragraph made me chuckle like a fiend:

I think you would both want to avoid using [FIRST NAME] alone--partly because it is, for your audience, a common name, whose use could invite confusion with other [FIRST NAMES], or simply cause you to be lost in a crowd. I think it is even more important to you, since your work has been honored with awards and appears to be more prestigious, and it would not benefit you to be associated with (or mistaken for) her, or to have her mistakenly identified as the author who has received the accolades that in fact are yours.

::snicker::

This fill me with unreasonable glee since he based this assessment not so much on anything I told him, but on what he uncovered via a web search.

I believe people should be able to dress however they want

I know kids are technically people but I think they're people-in-training. My kids don't always make the best sartorial choices--which doesn't bug me too much BUT as a parent, I have to draw the line somewhere. I don't let them wear tank tops and flip flops during winter because it's not comfortable or safe for them. Neither is putting them into an outfit which lets others perceive them as sexual.

Yes, it's the others' problem--either sick or perverted that lets them picture children as sexual beings but until the child is old enough to deal with the fallout from how society perceives them by what they're wearing, I will make some of those choices for them.

It's not that I think sexualization isn't a mine field with young teens. It is. There is shit my kid wouldn't be wearing to school. Once she's old enough there are dance routines and cheer routines I'd have serious reservations about. I don't want her to think her only worth is as the object of a sexual gaze.

At the same time I want her to feel good about her body and her sexuality. I don't want her to have to wait until she's in her late twenties and with a gang of internet friends before she's comfortable wearing a corset.

I think Halloween is a good way to start to figure these things out. If she's portraying a character that is sexy she can start to explore her feelings an other people's reactions in a limited context.

Yes, it's the others' problem--either sick or perverted that lets them picture children as sexual beings but until the child is old enough to deal with the fallout from how society perceives them by what they're wearing, I will make some of those choices for them.

Reposting this, because it's very, very important.

I think Halloween is a good way to start to figure these things out. If she's portraying a character that is sexy she can start to explore her feelings an other people's reactions in a limited context.

Yes, as long as, as you said, there's some active parenting going on, and there are discussions about "Okay, why do you want *that* particular costume?" and "Here are some of the reactions you might get, don't be taken by surprise".

Can't form coherent opinion on sexy girl costumes right now. I think a pedo is a pedo, whether or not s/he is "encouraged" by what a young girl wears. BUT, also think girls should not wear "sexy" costumes.

Do they pay for relo if they do happen to transfer you to NOLA?

No, not currently.

1. Would you be happy there if they did not transfer you?

Unclear. Both the job and NOLA are high-risk/high-reward situations. Current job and town are very comfortable.

2. If they went under in 6 mos or 1 year, would you have gained enough experience there to be better prepared for your next job search? (making this a transition/bridge job which makes perfect sense in a lot of ways).

Quite possibly, yes. Or I might discover that this isn't what I want to do, and be able to get back into something similar to my current job.

I just talked to my super-wise and straight-up (but not straight) therapist, and what we came around to was this: stay or go doesn't matter, what matters is that I am clear on my reasons. I can stay for security and familiarity, or go for adventure and challenge, but neither job will give me everything. Honestly, I'm not sure I'm going to get any better from this industry, considering how many Americorps positions I saw trolling NOLA Craigslist. I just wish they'd been more responsive and a little more flexible in their answers. It kind of seems like the worst of both worlds - the inflexibility of a corporation* and the (relatively) crappy pay and benefits of a nonprofit.

Thanks to all for the input - it's very welcome. I need to talk things out to think them through. Hope I'm not hijacking the thread too much.

* eta that I know not all corporations are inflexible, but I'm getting some very boilerplate HR-speak responses.

Of course, I'm the parent that let my four year old son wear a pair of pink bunny ears around for six months and ripped on some older kids for making fun of him at the park during that phase.