I believe people should be able to dress however they want

I know kids are technically people but I think they're people-in-training. My kids don't always make the best sartorial choices--which doesn't bug me too much BUT as a parent, I have to draw the line somewhere. I don't let them wear tank tops and flip flops during winter because it's not comfortable or safe for them. Neither is putting them into an outfit which lets others perceive them as sexual.

Yes, it's the others' problem--either sick or perverted that lets them picture children as sexual beings but until the child is old enough to deal with the fallout from how society perceives them by what they're wearing, I will make some of those choices for them.

It's not that I think sexualization isn't a mine field with young teens. It is. There is shit my kid wouldn't be wearing to school. Once she's old enough there are dance routines and cheer routines I'd have serious reservations about. I don't want her to think her only worth is as the object of a sexual gaze.

At the same time I want her to feel good about her body and her sexuality. I don't want her to have to wait until she's in her late twenties and with a gang of internet friends before she's comfortable wearing a corset.

I think Halloween is a good way to start to figure these things out. If she's portraying a character that is sexy she can start to explore her feelings an other people's reactions in a limited context.

Yes, it's the others' problem--either sick or perverted that lets them picture children as sexual beings but until the child is old enough to deal with the fallout from how society perceives them by what they're wearing, I will make some of those choices for them.

Reposting this, because it's very, very important.

I think Halloween is a good way to start to figure these things out. If she's portraying a character that is sexy she can start to explore her feelings an other people's reactions in a limited context.

Yes, as long as, as you said, there's some active parenting going on, and there are discussions about "Okay, why do you want *that* particular costume?" and "Here are some of the reactions you might get, don't be taken by surprise".

Can't form coherent opinion on sexy girl costumes right now. I think a pedo is a pedo, whether or not s/he is "encouraged" by what a young girl wears. BUT, also think girls should not wear "sexy" costumes.

Do they pay for relo if they do happen to transfer you to NOLA?

No, not currently.

1. Would you be happy there if they did not transfer you?

Unclear. Both the job and NOLA are high-risk/high-reward situations. Current job and town are very comfortable.

2. If they went under in 6 mos or 1 year, would you have gained enough experience there to be better prepared for your next job search? (making this a transition/bridge job which makes perfect sense in a lot of ways).

Quite possibly, yes. Or I might discover that this isn't what I want to do, and be able to get back into something similar to my current job.

I just talked to my super-wise and straight-up (but not straight) therapist, and what we came around to was this: stay or go doesn't matter, what matters is that I am clear on my reasons. I can stay for security and familiarity, or go for adventure and challenge, but neither job will give me everything. Honestly, I'm not sure I'm going to get any better from this industry, considering how many Americorps positions I saw trolling NOLA Craigslist. I just wish they'd been more responsive and a little more flexible in their answers. It kind of seems like the worst of both worlds - the inflexibility of a corporation* and the (relatively) crappy pay and benefits of a nonprofit.

Thanks to all for the input - it's very welcome. I need to talk things out to think them through. Hope I'm not hijacking the thread too much.

* eta that I know not all corporations are inflexible, but I'm getting some very boilerplate HR-speak responses.

Of course, I'm the parent that let my four year old son wear a pair of pink bunny ears around for six months and ripped on some older kids for making fun of him at the park during that phase.

I think Halloween is a good way to start to figure these things out. If she's portraying a character that is sexy she can start to explore her feelings an other people's reactions in a limited context.

Yes, as long as, as you said, there's some active parenting going on, and there are discussions about "Okay, why do you want *that* particular costume?" and "Here are some of the reactions you might get, don't be taken by surprise".

Exactly. Exactly, exactly, exactly.

I want my kids to be comfortable in their skin and celebratory of their own body, but I don't think a Raggedy Ann Goes Hooking costume is going to do that for them.

Talk away, smonster! That's what we're here for.

One last (well, maybe last) comment on the "sexy" child costumes: the Spirit Halloween stores are a national chain. When I was in one yesterday, I did not see one costume for grown women OR tween girls that wasn't a "sexy" twist on something. Every costume the store offered for females involved some combination of low-cut, super-short skirt, thigh high stockings, or a midriff shirt. Every one. (I saw a "Sexy Wednesday Addams" costume, FFS.)

There were no non-sexpot options. None.

I'm all for looking sexy. Yay, sexy! Yay, corsets! But when that is the only option available, even with something as innocuous as Halloween costumes, that's disheartening.

::points to what Jilli said, again.::

Which reminds me, I need to go look for sparkly green tights for my "I NEED TO BE TINKERBELL!" crying daughter.

I want her to go as the Paperbag Princess.

After defeating the dragon.

my sister made a very good point, "Putting a kid in a sexy outfit objectifies them and kids have a hard enough time being taken seriously in this world."

On the other hand, I think it's OK to not be taken seriously one day a year.