Mal: He calls back, you keep them occupied. Wash: What do I do, shadow puppets?

'The Message'


Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Zenkitty - Sep 15, 2011 8:19:30 am PDT #29579 of 30000
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

Happy birthday, Nora!

I also started taking some Chinese herbal supplement for lower back health yesterday, maybe that figured into things? Probably not but I'm all about the magical thinking and placebo effect if it takes the pain away.

Me too. What supplement is it?


sj - Sep 15, 2011 8:20:07 am PDT #29580 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

Happy Birthday, Nora!!! I'm glad your back is feeling a little better.


sj - Sep 15, 2011 8:22:09 am PDT #29581 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

I definitely have a uti. I also got my flu shot while I was there.

Teppy, do I have to avoid alcohol on cipro?


Scrappy - Sep 15, 2011 8:31:13 am PDT #29582 of 30000
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Thanks again for the support. As I said to Nora last night, maybe I just scared her with talk of her finding another place.

I think she did not communicate well with you AT ALL and is probably not good long-term roommate material. I also commend you for thinking about how your own behavior contributed to the impasses you guys went through. We all have to deal with people who are damaged or opaque or just temporarily preoccupied and it's good to learn from mis-steps, which is hard but exactly what I think you were doing. So, go you!

This next part isn't about you, smonster, but what you just went through touched on something I've been feeling for a while. I think that support in Bitches sometimes spills over into demonizing whoever or whatever makes a Buffista feel bad, and that can hinder getting to a healthy place. I think we all need a reality check sometimes and sometimes it seems to me that we (Buffistas) fail to do that.

It's hard, I know, as lots of times a person just needs to vent and a reality check is the completely wrong thing. Sometimes, though, people are struggling with emotions or figuring out a situation and simple validation may not be the most helpful choice.

What do you think, Bitches? Am I off the mark?


Calli - Sep 15, 2011 8:34:53 am PDT #29583 of 30000
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs

Happy birthday, Nora!


§ ita § - Sep 15, 2011 8:39:38 am PDT #29584 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

What do you think, Bitches? Am I off the mark?

No, I think you're right. Whoever's in opposition to someone posting here does tend to be 100% in the wrong, sometimes with very colourful language. Sometimes it helps, because steam needs to be blown off, but sometimes it stops you from being able to see what's going on, and own your own stuff.


meara - Sep 15, 2011 8:43:15 am PDT #29585 of 30000

Sometimes it helps, because steam needs to be blown off, but sometimes it stops you from being able to see what's going on, and own your own stuff.

Yes. Sometimes it seems like "um, dude, check yourself before you wreck yourself" would be harsh, given everyone saying 'OMG EvilPerson is EVIL!" and sometimes it starts to feel like you have to go there given all teh EVIL. ...on the other hand, some people are Tino. :) And sometimes you just want to vent and have support.

[ETA: I don't actually have any specific situation in mind, and certainly don't mean smonster and the roomie]


sj - Sep 15, 2011 8:43:20 am PDT #29586 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

Scrappy, I can see what you are saying. However, I also know people have been hurt in the past by advice when they were only looking for validation and hairpats. So, I guess it depends on the situation and the person. I am personally fine with the theory that Buffistas are wise and the rest of the world is wrong headed.


Frankenbuddha - Sep 15, 2011 8:43:59 am PDT #29587 of 30000
"We are the Goon Squad and we're coming to town...Beep! Beep!" - David Bowie, "Fashion"

There's a reason "Scrappy is wise" is an oft-used phrase around here, at least IMO.


Steph L. - Sep 15, 2011 9:11:58 am PDT #29588 of 30000
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

Teppy, do I have to avoid alcohol on cipro?

You can have it in moderation. So cancel the kegger for this weekend, missy! But really, a drink or 2 will be fine.

Also, Cipro is one of the drugs where you should keep an eye on your tendons -- Achilles, rotator cuff, other joints. Don't obsess over every little twinge, but if you notice consistent pain/swelling/inflammation in any of your joints/tendon areas, stop taking the Cipro and call your doctor. It can fuck tendons up big time.

I think that support in Bitches sometimes spills over into demonizing whoever or whatever makes a Buffista feel bad

Whoever's in opposition to someone posting here does tend to be 100% in the wrong, sometimes with very colourful language.

This does tend to be the Bitch MO, in my experience. I get that as friends, vilifying and grousing is a big part of providing support, but I have wondered from time to time if maybe not every person who's done a Bitch wrong has to be condemned to a thousand lifetimes in the bowels of a thousand hells, with only their fleas to keep them company, etc., etc.

We certainly have a command of dramatic and colorful language, that's for sure.

However, I also know people have been hurt in the past by advice when they were only looking for validation and hairpats.

Sometimes I just want people to grouse with me, but sometimes I want advice. It's probably better to be clear about what we want.