FWIW, I am wearing a butch cami right now, AIFG.

Tease!

FWIW, I am wearing a butch cami right now, AIFG.

my sistah! (mine's grey)

Quandry. Hive-mind help from volunteers and activists much appreciated. I volunteer for a small but fast-growing organization that shall remain nameless. I support its aims and activities entirely, but the way it's being run is starting to do my head in, and to affect me on an inclusion level. The latest plan for communication between volunteers is one that I can't participate in for disability reasons. I've mentioned the words 'reasonable adjustments' (a legal term under the UK's Disability Discrimination Act, meaning accommodations) in an e-mail. I'm not sure the inclusion point is even beginning to come across, though, because of the way the organization is run and structured. Part of me wants to quit - it's a voluntary post. Part of me wants to try to hang in there and see if practices can be reformed. But I don't know if it's too late - if the org has been established in this decisions-made-by-one-or-two-people style, and will continue this way. (Am I making any sense at all?)

erika, I get your point about the r-word. And it's hard for me not to use what I see as slightly more neutral terms like 'idiot', so I see the problem when a word's familiar. But I have friends with learning disabilities who hate the r-word, and I value their opinion, so I try not to use it. I'm not so good at asking others not to use it. Partly I don't think that's my responsibility, and I'm partly I'm a fraidy-cat on a personal level. Despite being able to protest many things in large groups (preferably with chains at the ready to attach ourselves to buses).

Pix, fantastic news for you and Drew. Must be such a relief to be getting out of the hospital. I hope you have some help with looking after him at home!

Seska, if I understood your post right, you're more than right to be angry and frustrated with the org's behavior. Since I'm a very polite and quiet person, if I were you, I'd send a very firm, even aggressive email, telling them that I have, sadly, to quit if the organization won't allow a change to allow more people to volunteer at - and mention that you'd like to see if there's any way you can help with that change, but that you don't feel as if it's a priority for them.

Anyway, in your shoes, I'd write that email, send it to Big People there, and wait and see what will happen. The important thing is not to fight windmills - you have only so much energy to fight for a better world, and you should do it on your own terms. I think.

Seska, I have no advice for you but good luck figuring out what to do.

I just woke up and I am already annoyed. A family friend is getting married, and I offered to do the bathroom baskets for her. Little baskets with things like safety pins, hand lotion, etc that the wedding guests might need etc. And now I am being micromanaged by her. I've done a million of these, and I know what I am doing, plus it's a gift. It is possible that I am more easily annoyed than I should be because of being sick.

Seska, do you have a personal connection with anyone in charge, that you could approach privately with your concerns? Sometimes making that one-on-one approach can earn you an ally. Sadly, ignoring important concerns not directly connected with "the mission" seems to happen all too often in activism.

smonster is wise.

sj, the bride should be focused on the big stuff--not micromanaging the guest baskets. Sheesh. I'd be a tad annoyed, too.

Yay, Drew! Enjoy home!

And Seska, I also agree with smonster. If there's someone you can talk to one-on-one and say (in your own words, of course), "This isn't my kooky personal preference. This is making it difficult for me to participate."

And I'm not sure whether this is feasible because I don't know the specifics, but if possible, be willing to be creative. The point is to enable you to communicate with the group, not necessarily to make sure communication happens in a certain way. So be open to alternatives that allow you to communicate, even if it isn't necessarily the exact method you have in mind.

Oh my god. I posted on Facebook last night that I was happy that friends of mine got engaged, and someone replied with OH MY GOD, CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND TIM, which then prompted other people to post the same thing.

So I woke up this morning to all these congratulations on my "engagement," and I was all "Buh?" and "Zuh?" because I was pretty sure that if I had actually gotten engaged, I would have been less subtle about letting people know.

Fucking weird, y'all. I thought Mercury was out of retrograde, but apparently the effects are still hanging around*me*.

(Note: I AM NOT ENGAGED. If I were, believe me, I would make it CLEARLY known.)