I'm still feeling verklempt at all the dismissal of $20/hour as being low-level wages. In Utah that's the kind of money that makes people go "Wow, you better not risk losing that."

What le nubian said. If I'm offered $20/hr to work in a convenience store, that's phenomenal. My sales, operations, policy, and consulting expertise? Worth a lot more. Ten years ago I was billing out at $125/hr right out of law school.

And the cost of living in D.C. is probably a bit higher.

Average 1 bedroom rent is $1734 and 2 bedroom is $2066. That doesn't include parking which can range from $0-$200+ month (if you have a car).

smonster, gratefully backflung.

Connie, I TOTALLY take your point, and would not have felt bad at all if the requested service was managing the office and answering client queries.

5 years ago, I managed a law office for $25 dollars an hour and felt great about that. That gig did not engage my over-educated skill sets.

The cost of living discussion really is relevant. I don't own a car because doing so is outrageous, plus extremely stressful.

I live really, really close to the ground and my expenses would probably make the baby jesus weep.

Yeah, SLC is way cheaper than a metropolis.

I'm still feeling verklempt at all the dismissal of $20/hour as being low-level wages.

Shit, I'd love to make $20/hr at this point. I've been applying for carpenter helper jobs from $10 and up. But I don't have two masters and am not being asked to do two full-time jobs as one part-time.

bonny, it's good to hear that this relationship has more than one side. My Johnny Castle anger has Doblerized to a deep yellow from pulsating red. (How's that for a mixed pop culture reference?)

Received, btw, and response to come shortly.

megafuckingmeara:

Stephanie, my opinion as an outsider is, if you've been using your married name for 11 years and are keeping it after the divorce, it's essentially your name now, and so it would make sense to me that it would be New Baby's last name too, if you decide to go that route. I also like smonster's idea of using the birth father's last name as a middle name

Way late (I threadsucked many, many hundred posts), but I really agree.

No kids involved, but I kept my married name after I got divorced. It just works for me in an internet age and I moved my maiden name to my middle name (it had the same initial and I'd never loved my given middle name but I adore having my maiden name there) so I have both.

My only sadness about keeping my name is that my birth mom (as apart from my stepmom) went *back* to my maiden name when she divorced her second husband (I was somewhere in grade school?) so I've had guilt that she has a name that I don't any longer. I don't think she ever considered going back to her maiden though.

Women changing their names is weird complicated.

My mom made the same point as Kate did - that my current last name is *mine* even if it's not the one I was born with.

It's true. Mine doesn't even remind me of my ex. It's just my name.

It's mine, I made it myself.

I am satisfied for now that we can communicate regularly on stuff that isn't sensitive. Sports, weather, we can talk about these things together so I get to know he is ok.

Laura, I think keeping that connection is really important.

A long time ago, my stepsister was going through one of many rough patches but it was the time she completely disengaged and my stepmom didn't hear from her for months. They talk daily and my sister will totally overshare (and then ignore advice or reason) so it was really brutal on mom. Just talking about the weather every few days would have been much better for mom. I am so glad you have that.

Our household has been a swirling mass of stress for the past couple of days, and I am hitting the not-coping wall pretty hard. With a side-order of feeling unmotivated and untalented.

I am very sorry. But you are very talented, just under a lot of stress and that is okay. You can try and take a break and breathe.

It is weird being a bisexual girl whose partner doesn't want her to bring chicks home. Makes me feel kinda special.

I'm really finding it more the norm in actual long-term* relationships. Which is absolutely the most anecdotal of anecdata, but...

*I'd say monogamous relationships but monogamy sort of implies ... monogamy.

As for the market, errand running businesses on the Hill get a fairly standard $40 per hour.

You are, to an extent, paying for their schedule flexibility as well, in these cases. Granted, most people paying $40 per hour for errands are making more than that by staying at work but they are clearly paying for things they'd prefer not to be the one doing more than a specific skill set. But paying the cat sitter $20 per hour pays for the time traveling to and fro and the fact that they can take that hour in the day and take care of your pets while you are gone.

and I was like, "Is this the doctor equivalent of writing me into a song?" He laughed and said, "Yeah, maybe."

Adorable!

I'm still feeling verklempt at all the dismissal of $20/hour as being low-level wages.

The wages aren't necessarily low, but location and skill sets required for the position do tick it much lower than another position might be elsewhere.

Backflung again, bonny.

Another StW story to close the evening. I was walking Frankie when StW came to get me, and he chatted with my roommate while waiting. On the way back from the coffee shop, I mentioned how much I like her and how well we get along, and his response was, "Yeah, we should really take her out, because I asked her if she's enjoying the city and she said not really because she's too broke to do anything." Y'all, he wants to take my roommate out to have fun! He barely knows her! How ridic generous and sweet is that?

I love your StW stories, smonster. He sounds like a wonderful guy.

They are lot more fun to live and to share with y'all than "OMG KBD just made me watch another shitty movie. OMG KBD talked me out of breaking up with him. AGAIN. OMG KBD wants me to wear makeup more often, but when I wear it he doesn't say anything."

Really going to bed now.

Aaaaagh.

So my old roommate moved out at the beginning of July. And I ended up with this friend o my sister's who said she was moving to town in mid- to late-August. Ok, better than a random an she seems cool. But I just emailed to get a more firm date (she was taking the bar exam and has a clerkship here) and she said now it'll be more like mid September or possibly not at all because of some security clearance drama! I can't afford to not have a roommate for that long, but I'm not in town enough right now to find a new one, and I don't want someone random. Grrrrrrr.