Stephanie, we went through the whole last name thing prior to Shane's birth, so I kind of know what you're going through. We were going to have him have both of our last names hyphenated, but our last names are both looooong. I didn't want to saddle him with that. I told DW I wanted him to have her last name and have my last name as his middle name.

He is only 19 months old, but so far it's made no difference to any of us. Baby having her last name doesn't make him any less mine. In your situation, I think I'd give baby your original last name. You could always hypenate your original-married name if you wanted that connection with all 3 kids.

Steph, why am I not to take Wellbutrin after 5? Will it keep me awake?

Kitty~ma for Plei and doggy~ma for bonny!!

Liese, insent.

Stephanie, what about naming the baby [first name] [father's last name for middle] [your last name for last]?

Aims, my non-parent take on it is that it would be good, eventually, to start Em making these decisions herself. Flylady has Kid Challenges that frequently ask them to find 5, 10, or 15 things that they don't love or use anymore to "bless others." Start small but build the habit. This is an important life skill for her.

Oh sweetheart. The only reason I wasn't was the meds I'm on. But I could feel the anxiety insomnia creeping around the edges. I hope you sleep better tonight.

Thanks, love. I only went to sleep then because I took half a Xanax (I only have 1/2 left! So sad!*). But I have rallied today and went to the farmer's market, picked up prescriptions, got a like-new mattress pad and a small shelf off of freecycle, and bought an awesome kitchen table with slideout leaves for $10 from my neighbor. And I may be scoring a dresser for free, not sure. Plus, I think I actually came up with some good ideas last night, so we'll see.

* On a related note, if someone should just *happen* to have any Xanax, Tylenol w/ codeine, or Valium that they don't need, I would give it a very loving home. IJS. (if anyone feels tempted to tell me to exercise more, I will note that I spent 45 -60 min yesterday walking, albeit not super aerobically, in 90+ degree heat)

Steph, why am I not to take Wellbutrin after 5? Will it keep me awake?

It can. It strung me out something fierce. I'm still dealing with insomnia more than 2 months after stopping Wellbutrin. It's known for its ability to cause anxiety and insomnia, because it fucks with your norepinephrine, which is one of the primary chemicals that makes your brain go "I AM ALERT NO SERIOUSLY I AM REALLY GODDAMN ALERT!!!", but 24/7.

Is it XL (extended-release; taken once a day), or do you take it more than once a day?

Liese, insent.

On its way! Thanks! (eta: let me know if it's not enough; I don't have the package in front of me right now)

I take it twice a day. Why am I on an anti-D that may cause anxiety attacks? I am at above average risk of those anyway, even if you don't count the weekly compazine.

And I don't want to be goddamn alert. Relaxed and well-rested will do.

It strung me out something fierce.

As I've shared before, it gave me a 24 hr-long anxiety/mania attack. Like, "Hahaha omg I'm kind of freaking out this is a little funny hahaha OMG." I didn't take it for long, obvs.

I take it twice a day.

I think that one you can take a little later than 5 pm (maybe 6 or 7), but, like I said, I think they warn you not to take it too late b/c it can cause insomnia.

Why am I on an anti-D that may cause anxiety attacks?

It's not a problematic drug for some people. But if you're prone to anxiety, then keep an eye on that. Did you just start it?

Yeah, I've been on it for maybe two weeks now.

Stephanie, my opinion as an outsider is, if you've been using your married name for 11 years and are keeping it after the divorce, it's essentially your name now, and so it would make sense to me that it would be New Baby's last name too, if you decide to go that route. I also like smonster's idea of using the birth father's last name as a middle name, and GC's idea of hyphenating your original last name with your married name too.

It's not the same situation, but my mom never changed her name when she married my dad, and so my last name is different from hers. I think the worst irritation with that was that occasionally when she'd call the school for something about my brother or me, it would take her a minute to explain that she was our mom even though her name was different. It certainly has never affected our relationship, or my relationship with her side of the family, as far as I can tell.