To be honest, we work through it together.

This can be tough, but if handled calmly, and with a sense of finality it can bear great rewards. i.e. "I know you want to keep all of these, but that is not what we are doing right now. You must pick one, or you can tell me which two _I_ can pick from."

Thanks for the kind Bartleby thoughts. Every one is greatly appreciated.

I'm firmly on the side of 'it's okay' but, sometimes I feel like he does when he's in the vet's office. Trembly and unsteady.

Artwork is one thing. I ask about that. But the detrius is a whole nother thing, IMO. Em tends toward the collector side of things and sometimes, after month of trying to help her keep her things somewhat organized, I just give up and out come the garbage bags.

bonny, best wishes for you and the B-man.

A boxer at the park this morning had a seizure and collapsed. So scary.

Some things are worth keeping, some aren't. We had kicking around the house the "candleholder" I made in kindergarten. A lump of clay, flattened on the bottom with a depression (made with a candle) on the top, painted red. I'm assuming it went out in the trash sometime after I got out of college ... but it could be lurking in one of the innumerable boxes my mother has hauled around with her through multiple moves (and never opened).

I know you want to keep all of these, but that is not what we are doing right now. You must pick one

Right - this is what I meant.

I know you want to keep all of these, but that is not what we are doing right now. You must pick one

Ahahahahaha. *I* am still working on learning this lesson. But I've got to say, I'm getting better at it after the Great Clearing Out of Mom & Dad's place and discovering how far down the path of hoarding my Mom had gone. Eeesh.

I wanted to chime in here, despite mostly lurking. I am a quasi hoarder- I go through stages-- but mostly my problem has to do not so much with the stuff as truly being unable to find a system or a way to keep it that works for more than one day.

Because of this, every year I went away, and every year my grandma cleaned and organized my room, which had grown to epic piles on the floor proportions.

And, the problem still exists, but I have no one to clean for me. The thing is, I am not sure having me around would have helped, but maybe it would have.I actually feel there is this innate defiant thing in me that rebels against cleaning stuff up that my mom and grandparents probably could not have changed.

And they still did this when I was in High School, BTW.

Okay, hivemind, I could use some opinions here because each of my options has drawbacks that I don't like. The very short version is:

I changed my last name to soon-to-be-ex-husband's last name when we got married. I like it, it's been mine for 11 years, and it is the same as my kids' last name. So I'm not planning on changing it post-divorce. So our house will be me, E, & F all with the same last name.

I feel weird giving Baby that last name since he/she is not related to that family, but I also feel weird giving Baby my original last name since it hasn't been mine in years. But I also feel weird giving Baby the father's last name since he doesn't appear to want to be involved. But Baby's father's family is very excited about Baby's existence and would like Baby to have their last name. I get that it is my decision, but I'm just not sure what the right decision is.

I've always lived in a 1 last name family. For those that have more than 1 last name in your family, does it make a difference to you (good or bad)?

Some of my extended family is in that very position, and it seems to be worse for people outside the family. The kids have either their mother's names or their birth father's names, and they totally keep track. I on the other hand, just refer to them by first name.