ma ~~~sj, to you and the family

That makes sense; I was kind of wigging because she really like to whip around the L word (er, lawyer) whenever she doesn't get her way.

I hope you understand what an empty threat this is. Judges do not take kindly to revisiting custody arrangements after the divorce unless something drastic has occurred. And by drastic we're talking about: suicide, drug dealing, going to jail. Not, "He's not accommodating my vacation schedule."

Also, it's really expensive. Since Dan is doing way more than most fathers who don't have weekly access to their kids, she wouldn't win.

OTOH, he may be non-confrontational but it sounds like he didn't have any legal counsel at all about his rights during the divorce. And that was a fuck-up on his part and you all just have to live with Things As They Are now.

But just remember, she's got no leverage except being a bitch. (That doesn't mean challenge her to a bitch fight!)

She's mostly bullshit and bluster and puffed up feathers at this point and Dan just has to keep a steady course. At this point, non-confrontational is the better strategy. (During the divorce it would've been better for him to have gotten a decent lawyer.)

Frankly, Erin, I'd recommend you take the custody arrangement and reviewing it with a family lawyer just so you understand Dan's rights because it doesn't sound like he does.

But I'm also a little worried that he got fucked over on the custody arrangement and doesn't really know what his leverage is.

Anyway, I know money's tight but there's a lot of pro bono counsel for family law stuff.

Windsparrow,

good grief. I hope you get some rest tonight.

Erin, what she puts in her will may be considered by the family court, but it has no binding effect. Generally, unless your DH is ruled an unfit parent, his parental rights would supersede her wishes.

Honestly, you don't really need to worry about it.

Thanks for the support, folks. I wish I had the wherewithal to render it back immediately.

Did I mention, I probably have caused some serious bruising for this person? Not abusively - it's just that I had the choice between allowing a fall (and I know darn well that I can't lift this person from the floor on my own) or hauling bodily with significant power to the bed. The transfer belt that was around the person's waist slipped up to the chest in the process, and I felt really bad about that. As I was documenting on what happened though, going through it step by step, I felt some better - there's a fair bit of "Ha! I did it! I got you safely into bed when you almost fell" mixed in with the, "Oh, gosh, I didn't mean to hurt you, are you ok?"

I probably have caused some serious bruising for this person

Brusing beats the hell (NPI) out of a concussion. Good on ya, I say.

Much cat~ma, Plei.

Ginger, so glad your mom got a diagnosis! And that it's something relatively easily dealt with.

Windsparrow, ugh. Just... ugh, and sympathy.

Erin, jeepers, I'm sorry you and Dan have to deal with such a nutball. A will is for the disposition of one's estate; she can distribute personal property in her will, but a child isn't the same as a set of dinnerware. Dan has custody, and he'll still have it if she dies. (As for T., if both she and her current husband die while T. is a minor, the courts would be more likely to award his custody to one of their relatives, if a suitable one exists, than to a couple with no blood relation to him, no matter what his mother said in her will.)

Frankly, Erin, I'd recommend you take the custody arrangement and reviewing it with a family lawyer just so you understand Dan's rights because it doesn't sound like he does.

But I'm also a little worried that he got fucked over on the custody arrangement and doesn't really know what his leverage is.

I agree with Hec. Also, half of this shit just sounds like she wants attention, and if you can get some verification about Dan's standing, then it may be easier to just, well, ignore her.