Erin, what she puts in her will may be considered by the family court, but it has no binding effect. Generally, unless your DH is ruled an unfit parent, his parental rights would supersede her wishes.

Honestly, you don't really need to worry about it.

Thanks for the support, folks. I wish I had the wherewithal to render it back immediately.

Did I mention, I probably have caused some serious bruising for this person? Not abusively - it's just that I had the choice between allowing a fall (and I know darn well that I can't lift this person from the floor on my own) or hauling bodily with significant power to the bed. The transfer belt that was around the person's waist slipped up to the chest in the process, and I felt really bad about that. As I was documenting on what happened though, going through it step by step, I felt some better - there's a fair bit of "Ha! I did it! I got you safely into bed when you almost fell" mixed in with the, "Oh, gosh, I didn't mean to hurt you, are you ok?"

I probably have caused some serious bruising for this person

Brusing beats the hell (NPI) out of a concussion. Good on ya, I say.

Much cat~ma, Plei.

Ginger, so glad your mom got a diagnosis! And that it's something relatively easily dealt with.

Windsparrow, ugh. Just... ugh, and sympathy.

Erin, jeepers, I'm sorry you and Dan have to deal with such a nutball. A will is for the disposition of one's estate; she can distribute personal property in her will, but a child isn't the same as a set of dinnerware. Dan has custody, and he'll still have it if she dies. (As for T., if both she and her current husband die while T. is a minor, the courts would be more likely to award his custody to one of their relatives, if a suitable one exists, than to a couple with no blood relation to him, no matter what his mother said in her will.)

Frankly, Erin, I'd recommend you take the custody arrangement and reviewing it with a family lawyer just so you understand Dan's rights because it doesn't sound like he does.

But I'm also a little worried that he got fucked over on the custody arrangement and doesn't really know what his leverage is.

I agree with Hec. Also, half of this shit just sounds like she wants attention, and if you can get some verification about Dan's standing, then it may be easier to just, well, ignore her.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a gaming geek and a mall rat met and fell in love over Neil Simon, karaoke, and lousy bowling alley beer. Nine years ago today they got married foisted their wacky love upon an unsuspecting world.

Congratulations, Aimee and Joe! I remember when you were merely affianced.

Congrats, Miracleborns!

I meant to put this here, but accidentally posted it in Natter.

Erin, I missed the conversation last night, but I had to chime in since I'm basically a single mom now and I've been thinking a lot about a will lately. I don't think I'm scared of dying more than anyone else but I do worry now because it means my kids (well, E, F, and the coming baby) would likely be split up.

I *wish* I could specify that my parents raise all 3 if something happens to me, but I know that I can't. I should add here that Joe is not a bad father, but he has never shown me that he has any idea about taking care of the kids on a regular basis. And it is important to me that my kids grow up together. The baby's father is not currently in a place where I would feel comfortable leaving him alone with a baby, or child, but I suspect he feels the same way.

Anyway, after talking to my family lawyer, her take on it was that the best I can do is specify my wishes in the will and then leave any life insurance proceeds in a trust managed by the person I want to care for the kids. So that at least that person (likely my mom or dad) will have some influence in the situation.