The King of Cups expects a picnic. But this is not his birthday!

Drusilla ,'Conversations with Dead People'


Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Steph L. - Jul 22, 2011 4:16:36 pm PDT #25953 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

focusing on pre-op/post-op is harmful because many transgender persons never have surgery

Exactly. For instance, lots of female-to-male trans men *do* have top surgery (breast reduction), but don't have bottom surgery, because it's not hugely successful. And there are people who say that that person, then, is not a man, because there is no penis. And that completely negates his lived experience as a man.

(Same thing happens with male-to-female trans women, of course. Their bottom surgery is much more successful, but a lot still don't have it because it's very expensive [to be clear, it's expensive for both sexes], and obviously not covered by insurance. So there are people who say it doesn't matter if she's living as a woman, if she has a penis, she's a man. Which is hugely damaging and leads to a lot of hate crimes.)


billytea - Jul 22, 2011 4:31:25 pm PDT #25954 of 30000
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

You do talk about them a lot. I should send you over to talk about them in that transgender thread.

I don't know, I wouldn't want to derail it. I'd hate to think I was oppressing them with my testicles.


smonster - Jul 22, 2011 4:38:10 pm PDT #25955 of 30000
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

What Steph and Liese and ita said.

So if I, as the minority, have to be the one to educate the minority, I will have to do it ad inifinitum. I may be the only minority the majority person has ever encountered, but I have encountered many many of her.

Following up on this point, if a black woman asks me, Whitey McWhiterson Chick, if she can touch my hair, NBD. It's actually never happened to me. But white people asking to touch black people's hair, or even touching without asking, is ridiculously common and rude.

IMHO, the minority's obligation ends at "It's none of your business." A link is kindness.


Steph L. - Jul 22, 2011 4:42:45 pm PDT #25956 of 30000
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

I'd hate to think I was oppressing them with my testicles.

Is that a fancy way of saying "teabagging"?


Glamcookie - Jul 22, 2011 4:49:37 pm PDT #25957 of 30000
I know my own heart and understand my fellow man. But I am made unlike anyone I have ever met. I dare to say I am like no one in the whole world. - Anne Lister

Hey, it's me with another boobie-related delurking! I know there are Wacoal fans on here, so thought I'd share this deal from zulily.com: [link]


Hil R. - Jul 22, 2011 5:06:21 pm PDT #25958 of 30000
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l

You CAN do that, IF YOU WISH, but it is not your obligation. If my husband says he's Jewish, is it okay for a stranger to ask if he is circumcised? Is he then obligated to "educate" him about Jewish customs? Assuming that because someone is in a minority you are interested in they are then obliged to answer your questions about themselves is a pretty big assumption.

I usually choose to at least give a link to one or two good resources in these cases, just because I know how much ridiculous stuff you'll get if you try to google information on pretty much any Jewish topic. Generally, at least one antisemitic site within the first page of results.


Vortex - Jul 22, 2011 5:42:28 pm PDT #25959 of 30000
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman

Glam, what's the deal? they want you to sign up to see it.


billytea - Jul 22, 2011 5:57:42 pm PDT #25960 of 30000
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

Is that a fancy way of saying "teabagging"?

What it is is billyteabyou know what, I'm pretty sure I don't want to go there.


Stephanie - Jul 22, 2011 6:16:58 pm PDT #25961 of 30000
Trust my rage

zulily has a deal on Wacoal bras. I'm a member because they do lots of mom/kids stuff, but the bra deals seem pretty good.


Stephanie - Jul 22, 2011 6:27:17 pm PDT #25962 of 30000
Trust my rage

So, I bought two bras. I'm thinking I need to enjoy my new, pregnancy-enhanced boobs before they become sore and well-used. Which I don't mind, but I won't be thinking sexy bras at the time.

ION, have I mentioned that I look like Voldemort? Both eyes are now red, although the one is way less puffy and oozy and is just red and slightly puffy. This conjunctivitis is the sickest I've been since I had mono. No joke. I have done nothing but lay on the coach since Tuesday.