I know I should just be happy that he lived a good long life, but I can't stop crying.

You can be glad he lived a good life and still miss him like crazy. It's really okay. I am sorry you are hurting.

I'm so sorry for your loss, sj. My grandfather also died at 96, and even though it was time for him to go it was still too soon for the rest of us. These people leave a hole behind that no one else can ever quite fill. {{{sj}}}

96 years is a loooong time until they're 95. Then its not nearly enough. I'm so sorry, sj.

He was very pleased with himself that he made it past his mother's age of 94, but then he was aiming for 100, of course.

Before I came home to this news I had a wonderful day in Newport with TCG. We went to our favorite little Christmas shop and he bought me a kindle ornament for next Christmas and then we had a yummy dinner.

sj, I'm so sorry.

My boyfriend Dr. Horrible goes to the beach.

We saw 12 dolphins way out at sea this morning. Later, the 5 of us womenfolk went to get excellent pedicures. I got home from the pedicure to find that Tim had bought me a pint of Crown Royal. Seriously. After dinner there were birthday cupcakes. And we just got in from watching the International Space Station fly over. Tomorrow, we ride for the North.

After dinner, almost everyone had gone outside, except Tim's SiL, Tim's dad, and me. And I was on my way out, but I went and hugged Tim's dad and thanked him for my birthday present (I got stuff other than a cupcake) and thanked him for the week at the beach. And he said you're welcome, and so forth, and I walked around to the fridge or something, and when I turned back around he was just sobbing his poor heart out.

The last time we were all here at the beach, Tim's mom was alive; I know that all week everyone's been thinking about that.

So I walked over to Tim's dad and asked if I could hug him, and he said yes, and I just hugged him while he cried some more, and Tim's SiL said how much she's thought about Tim's mom all week.

I know I've grumbled a lot about him this week, and I stand by my grumbles, but...he's a good man, and a good dad, and I do love him, and I hate that he's grieving, although this grief is a natural thing, and he needs to go through it.

Later on, he gave Tim a carving he bought of a wee sea turtle hatching from an egg, because of the sea turtle that laid her eggs behind the house at the beginning of the week. He said he also bought one for Tim's other 2 brothers.

The interfering in our relationship is not cool, and my position on that isn't going to change. But...I just wanted to share a couple stories that didn't cast him in such a negative light.

Thank you for doing that, Teppy.

You know, its possible that some motivation for his nudging is the recent loss of his wife. It's still completely unacceptable that he does it, but maybe it can sting a little less when he does if some portion of it is wanting you to have what he had.

Awwww, Tep. In-Law relationships can be so hard sometimes, but even though they can wrong like wrongcakes with wrongity sauce and a side of justplainwrongity salad, I would say that more often than not, in-laws can be touching and awesome.

In funny female grooming news, Em asked me today if she could shave her armpits. @@ She took a shower with me the other day and I shaved my legs and armpits and she asked me why and when she had to start doing it. I told her that she didn't *have* to, that she could choose - when she got older - if she wanted to shave. I explained that I like the feel of it better and that it makes me feel prettier if my legs and pits are shaved. She said, "OH. Ok." and I thought that was that.

So today she asks me if she can use that thing to "clean" her armpits. I asked her why and she said, "I just thought they needed cleaning." I told her again that she didn't have to and that she's too young at this point, what with not having any armpit hair. She replied, "Hair is wierd. I just want to get rid of it."

As I said to Debet earlier today, parenting is hard work. However, I also find that a lot of it is just plain wierd.

I know I've grumbled a lot about him this week, and I stand by my grumbles, but...he's a good man, and a good dad, and I do love him, and I hate that he's grieving, although this grief is a natural thing, and he needs to go through it.

You know that is really lovely. Yes, he's flawed. Humans are. But he's also loving and grieving and so much more than just the flaws.

I know I should just be happy that he lived a good long life, but I can't stop crying. He was so much like my Nana, who I lost 18 years ago this month, and he was just so amazing with his stories of growing up in Italy, his incredible garden, etc.

Dear sj, you do not need to feel "should just". You have lost a beloved member of your family. No one gets to tell anyone else how to feel when that happens - all we can do is say how we each feel. You are quite right to feel sad, to feel the loss. It is also good and right to feel able to celebrate such a long and amazing life. You feel what you feel. And you and your family have my sympathy for that deep loss.

Teppy, I'm glad you had a nice birthday. And I'm glad you do have moments when you can enjoy Tim's dad.