I know I should just be happy that he lived a good long life, but I can't stop crying. He was so much like my Nana, who I lost 18 years ago this month, and he was just so amazing with his stories of growing up in Italy, his incredible garden, etc.

Dear sj, you do not need to feel "should just". You have lost a beloved member of your family. No one gets to tell anyone else how to feel when that happens - all we can do is say how we each feel. You are quite right to feel sad, to feel the loss. It is also good and right to feel able to celebrate such a long and amazing life. You feel what you feel. And you and your family have my sympathy for that deep loss.

Teppy, I'm glad you had a nice birthday. And I'm glad you do have moments when you can enjoy Tim's dad.

Epic, we wouldn't have worked cause I'd have given him the Hardison "Seriously?!" Tep, yes, I think Tim's dad is Thinking About What's Important. Which is part of life, but I wish people could confine it to their stuff, instead of , say, yours, or mine. sj, sorry for your loss.

sj, I'm so sorry. What WindSparrow said. Let the grief come, as it will.

And Tep, it's good that you can see the good in him. It's hard, with people like that. I struggle with my feelings about my grandfather mightily from time to time. Thank you for sharing those stories with us.

Separate post - Aims, you're doing a dandy job. There are much worse answers you could have given her.

Boy who needs an acronym texted back. He said he didn't hear his phone because, get this, he was watching the first episode of Firefly. I think we're going to see live music tomorrow with Nora and K & K and who knows else.

sj, I'm so sorry. He does sound like a lovely man.

Teppy - thanks for that story. He definitely is a man with facets.

I think you should call him the Frenchman. Even if he is not actually French. Because that's a good name.

Oh, sj. I'm so sorry.

Had an excellent time with smonster and K&K this evening, yay. Where is DJ these days, I miss her like hell.

Heee, I remember when K-Bug started asking about shaving her legs. I tried to tell her she didn't need to start that until she was older and that worked for a while. Then I had a dream that involved a "shaving expert" teaching her how to shave. I figured if I was dreaming about it, then the next time she asked I'd say ok.

You know, its possible that some motivation for his nudging is the recent loss of his wife. It's still completely unacceptable that he does it, but maybe it can sting a little less when he does if some portion of it is wanting you to have what he had.

Yeah. I know that his interfering comes from wanting us to be happy, rather than as a way of condemning our sinful ways. He just thinks he knows the One True Way to be happy, but it doesn't mesh with our happy. I know it's easy for me to say this as a non-parent, but -- parents gotta let their kids find their way (except maybe Charlie Manson's parents; they could have maybe gotten him into a youth orchestra or something), even when the kids' way doesn't line up with the parents' way.

I could easily just tell Tim's dad to fuck off if I thought he was being judgey, but while there's a little judgey there, it's mostly an issue of I Want You To Have This Good Thing AND I Know How You Can Get It. And that's harder to meet with profanity. I'm still not cool with it, I'm not budging on my boundaries, but knowing his motive makes it easier for me to let my anger cool off.

I'm glad it makes it easier for you to cool off. (Still sux that he does it. Let me make that abundantly clear. I have a big problem with "Oh its OK if s/he MEANT well... s/he really LOVES youuuuuuu")