Dear subconscious. Yes, I know you're all worked up because I couldn't sleep tonight and read upsetting news articles and then tried to self-soothe with what turned out to be a novel with lots of suicidal ideation scenes. I'm sorry about that. I know you're a mess, what with lots of free form anxiety floating around and everything.
But what I am frightened of is not a literal stranger at the door threatening my mother. I am frightened of disease and old age and wildfires and poverty and helplessness. You and your dream after a half hour of sleep, you are unsubtle. Also, I have a presentation to give tomorrow that I know will make me cry. Five times. After driving through endless construction traffic. I do not need to wake up in full adrenaline fight or flight mode.
Please desist. kthx.
Ack! I hope everyone sleeps and sleeps peacefully tonight. Why is sleep so damned difficult? I need to attempt that soon.
I have no idea how my glasses get so dirty. What is possibly getting on my lenses and is that amount of stuff getting on my face too?
Hello Bitches. I thought I had posted yesterday, but it seems not, so clearly I closed the window I was writing in. The protracted absence this time has been due to anemia (this is apparently why I was so ill on the plane a couple of weeks ago). I am doing a bit better now, thanks to better living through chemicals iron pills.
Meanwhile, I thought you would like to see pictures of my new KITTEHS! We adopted them this week from a local shelter. We were only going to get one cat, but these two had both been there for months and we just had to have them. Pics are all here [link] . My favourite pics: Milo [link] [link] Pythagoras [link]
Milo, the black-and-white cat, is mostly living behind the kitchen cabinets at the moment. He's not shy, he just really seems to like it there. He comes out for food and for an occasional cuddle. He is getting very dusty as a result. Pythagoras, who is orange and only has three legs, is happiest behind the sofa, except that he forgets he can't get out from behind there and then we get a lot of whining to be lifted out.
Happy belated birthday, Teppy! I'm sorry to hear that 40 hurts. I'm having a clumsy time too - last night I dropped chamomile tea with honey in it all over my bedside cabinet, killing my Kindle in the process. (I'm hoping my wonderful accidental damage insurance will cover it. It's *really* good insurance.)
Scrappy, *many many many* Sass-return wishes for you. In church tonight at my choir rehearsal, I'll light a candle for her safe return. In more practical terms, I'm tweeting/Facebooking your blog - I have lots of US-based friends who can RT the link. The Girl's brother is starting at a university in D.C. in two weeks, and I can see if I can get him to spread the word too.
Many sleep vibes for those who need them.
Here's a random question for you. Are there any Pagans on b.org? I've been exploring the druid/ancient Celtic religions recently (under the influence of my wonderful father, who is both a Taoist and a shaman!) It's certainly an interesting mix with Christianity, but for some reason it's totally working for me. Happiness. (And moments of extreme *weird*.)
Dear Milo and Pythagorus, you have landed on your feet and no mistake! You have found yourselves two lovely ladies to share a home with. Congratulations!
Seska, I'm glad the iron pills are helping.
It's really great to see Cass, Epic, and Trudy, too.
Milo has now decided he prefers a little dark space behind a box in the pantry, and stopped hiding in the walls. Which is progress! I'm going to put his bed there later and see if he's willing to sleep on it there.
Kittehs!!
Pythagoras is a fantastic name for a three-legged cat.
Steph - I don't know how your upper respiratory system is doing, but my experience of wildfires (SoCal Wildfire Season, let me show you it) says keep in mind that even if you're not in immediate danger of burning up, air quality will be crap for miles and miles. I hope that you can all come to an agreement that's safe and pleasant for all parties.
I used to have asthma that developed after college when we got a cat. I used a steroid inhaler and albuterol, and then when the roommate moved out and took the cat, I was fine, except for rare exacerbations if I was very sick or exerted myself outdoors when it was insanely cold.
Even now, with 2 cats, it's fine, again, except for when I get really sick. So I do have an albuterol inhaler in my purse, and I am definitely not the kind of person who won't "make a fuss" -- if my lungs start complaining, I will get my ass to a medical center right away.
Tim's family is still all "La la la, no big deal, it's moving off to the north, we'll be fine." The fact that smoke from the fire is being seen as far as Delaware tells me that there will be bad-ass smoke at the damn beach.
But they've made up their minds, and all I can do is stick to my plan to keep an eye on my lungs...and probably stay indoors for most of this vacation.
I mean, I get it. I *want* to go to the beach. The house is paid for. But this is nuts. I think they're willfully deluding themselves. I think we will get there and everyone will be shocked at how bad it is.
You know that age-old question: would you rather be right, or happy? I'd rather NOT be right in this instance.
So, the doctor's office called this morning. Blood work is normal, no anemia (so maybe the iron pills worked?), but still having the shallow breathing. They've recommended that I see a cardiologist. Ugh.
