'Heart Of Gold'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Spidra, sing it sistah. You described exactly how I became bulimic, and why I viewed myself as fat, even when I wasn't.
Food becomes something you constantly think about because we are inundated with messages about our bodies and how desirable or not we may be.
Plus, corporate pimping of food 24/7.
Sigh.
I'm smart. I'm capable. And, still, I give in to food cravings.
le Sigh.
It wasn't me, with the embarrassing twitter application of Olbermann-love today on "Countdown", not that I am such a subtle and lady-like flower that I would never do that, although my craving for attention in the wider world is inexplicable to my mother, but I'm so used to speaking in coded references, he'd end up asking his staff to google "candy burden" or something.
I may also need to get a bigger crate, really.
Resist that impulse! The smaller, darker, cooler the space, the better. If he can stand up and turn around, that is all you need. Limiting his range is doing him a favor, no lie.
Make sure your coming and going is a total non-event.
Don't talk to him, feel guilty or respond to any sounds he might make. Stimulating him either going in, or coming out can spin up the anxiety that make separation anxiety so prevalent.
When you open the door, on returning home, don't greet or even look at him until he is calm. THEN he gets the big lovin.'
So often, my clients will totally undermine their crate skills simply by feeling guilty. That's no good for anyone.
Frankie's job is be calm. The crate is an excellent way to help him get promoted!
Yeah, I'm pretty much doing (or not doing) all that. I should probably review with my parents, though. He's fine once he's in, doesn't whine or anything. He just won't go in on his own withhout a gentle but firm nudge.
Seriously, at the Minnesota State Fair, we have 60-70 foods on a stick.
That is one hard-working stick.
That background (which I think a lot of American women have) made me constantly think about weight and food. In my 30s I started gaining weight, probably because I'd broken my metabolism by dieting so early and so much.
I think this is the real problem with a lot of American women, at least. Food becomes something you constantly think about because we are inundated with messages about our bodies and how desirable or not we may be. If you think about food constantly, you're thinking about food. And of course you feel hungry and crave things. If our culture were less misogynistic and healthier about this sort of thing, it would just be fuel to us.
The authors of Intuitive Eating [link] address this issue. Their position is that dieting is rarely successful, and messes up our bodies. Furthermore, there is real damage done by years of eating by external rules - ignoring hunger cues, the diet/binge cycle, etc. messes up a person's ability to take in what the body actually needs. Their strategy is for people to be free to eat whatever they want, as much as they want, whenever they want. After an initial period of possibly making binge-like choices, the element of forbidden fruit goes away so that people can pay attention to their bodies' cues as to when, what and how much to eat. Then gradually, the body will move out of the diet/famine/messed up metabolism danger zone, and into gradually releasing fat in excess of the individual's set point. [link] sums it up.
I've been trying to follow this, as I have reluctantly given up hope of ever finding a way to force any diet to succeed in anything other than me ending up all the fatter afterwards. I despair that nothing I will ever do will earn me the privilege of being skinny. This isn't going to get me skinny. But maybe it will let me stop getting fatter. It's terrifying to allow myself to try to view appetite as anything other than an enemy. And it is hard work to eat as much as my hunger calls for.
Drew, much ~ma for finding out what's going on in your body.
~ma for Perkins, as well.
{{{{{Drew}}}}}
Sending ~Ma, Drew.
I should probably review with my parents, though.
Good plan. It's gotta be consistent.
It may be that the little guy has learned that he's supposed to wait until the nudge to go in. If he's not behaving in a fearful way, he may just be confused.
Bartleby's best friend thinks 5 "Here Bob!"s are required before he returns to his person. That pattern just got instilled so effectively by the man that the dog is actually doing exactly what he is asked by NOT coming when called.