I am really frustrated with my continued sadness. Coupled with stress from house stuff and money stuff and organizing a fundraiser and work stuff.

I just miss my Grandma and I just want to run away and hide.

Which is weird, because now I live in the place where I would run to and hide in.

I am! ...except that I found out this morning I have to go through about 50 resumes, widdle down the pile, have initial phone interviews, and schedule final interviews with the best candidates for the US intern position (because s/he will be teaching one section of 9th or 10th English). So maybe after next week.

Well, good luck getting that done quickly so that you can relax!

{{{{{Nora}}}}}

Is an intern like a student teacher or what, pix?

Thanks, sj. I just can't shake this sadness. It's affecting everything I try to do.

It's not LOGICAL. She was 94, I hadn't seen her since September, we were all expecting it. She hadn't been all there for months, I haven't been able to connect with her since last summer. I shouldn't be so morose.

You said it yourself, Nora, it's not logical. It is as it is, as the preacher who did my mother's funeral said. You're going to have to stand there and hurt for a while. Think of it as a final tribute to your grandma. It will ease off eventually. Really. We're here with you all the way.

I don't think there's a should or shouldn't with sadness, Nora. It's kind of just is or isn't.

And give yourself a break; it just happened. It's ok to be really sad about it for a while.

I shouldn't be so morose.

There's no shouldn't to how you feel and there's certainly no logic. Don't try to talk yourself out of being sad. Sometimes it doesn't feel real until it's actually real. Also, it doesn't help that you know she'd be sad about the way people are behaving.

Honey, your grandmother died. Why wouldn't you be sad?

There are no "shoulds" or "shouldn'ts" when it comes to grief. I look forward to being able to give you a hug in person, Nora.

Barb, phooey and yuck. I hope the machines do the trick. Better to get on it right away than let it mold.

Said goodbye to my family tonight. Parents were/are sad. I'm too stressed to be sad or excited or anything. Can I get some no-flake/couch moving ~ma? Two "big, strong dudes" are coming to get that sofabed in about half an hour. Good lord, I will do a dance when it's gone. It's a great couch, but disposing of it has been a nightmare.

Tired. Tired. There is only packing. Or possibly Zuul.

Tired. Tired. There is only packing. Or possibly Zuul.

Life changes are tough. But pretty soon you'll wake up in New Orleans and you'll say, "I live here!" and that's pretty fucking sweet.