listening to all the family drama ... wow

I must confess that my mother was the grabby one when her mother died; she was his third wife and a lot of jewelry came from her father's family. My mother had one half-sister (child of the first wife), but being the one on the spot, my mother grabbed everything except for one ring and an antique brass lamp. The jewelry ... she took to a jeweler and had all the stones (diamonds, three small but nice rubies) ripped out of the settings and reset into one (truly ugly) ring so she could wear it all at once. The Masonic pieces (from great- and great-great-grandfather) she sold.

Nothing like family sentiment, right?

With my maternal grandmother's stuff, my cousin ended up being the grabby one. Mom had had her eye on the victrola in the attic for years, but Jim talked Gramma into giving it to him. Mom was a bit upset, but couldn't say anything because she had never really placed a claim on it. Several years later, Jim came to Mom's house for a big family holiday party and started casting his eye on her dining room table, which was originally Great-grandma Larkin's and which Mom has promised to me. I looked over at Jim when he started asking questions about the table and told him exactly that. He backed off.

The other thing that's so crazy about stuff like this is when I think about my own putative heirs, there's pretty much nothing anyone would want. I can just see it now, my nieces squabbling over the piles of desktop computer detritus from the 90's.

When my Dad died I got a shoebox full of stuff. The only thing of value being his big silver tiger's eye 70s bracelet. The only thing I cared about was the cheap umpire counter that I gave to Emmett. When my mom died I got her anniversary ring (small diamond) and her dog tags.

So. Not a lot.

The main things I got from my Mom are Apple products, and her workbeast of an Elna sewing machine from the 70s. (But she gave me that a few years ago, while she was still alive.)

I know that her jewelry (what little there is, she wasn't into it much) will eventually be mine, when Dad feels up to looking at it again. And I suppose Dad & I should have a talk about whatever his wishes are, but since he's planning to live forever, I'm putting that talk off.

When Mom's dad died G'ma gave his rings, pocket knife and watch to my Uncle because he was the son. It hurt Mom because there wasn't any attempt to find out if her daugthers wanted anything. But that must be a generational thing.

I know that with Grandma E she's given some small things to people already. And Grandpa E took up carving after he retired and so there are all these carvings of birds and there was enough that everyone including the cousins got one.

I think the pieces of furniture that anyone would have fought over were stolen from the house my grandparents were living in during a funeral. They weren't expensive pieces, but this cool "pie crust" coffee table and then these oak dining chairs with carved backs.

I have the things that were important to me from my Grandma Vida - a few strands of her glass pearls, and the pocket watch pendant that originally belonged to her mum, and was purchased in the old country (Slovenia) by great-grandpa.

I also have a stack of old family photos that I need to have Pete scan for me. Grandma Vida was on a drill team! I now know where my fondness for military-styled jackets and wacky hats comes from.

I have my dad's high school graduation ring. Which looks a lot like this: [link] I had it re-sized and I wear it every day. My mom keeps giving us stuff each time she sees us ("I brought that green glass bowl you always liked in my suitcase"), despite all of us telling her to keep and enjoy it, so there may be nothing left when she finally dies.

The only thing that comes to mind that I would really want from my grandparents would be old photos, and those can be digitized so that everyone can get a copy. I really want to do that with a photo of M's grandmother and grandfather that sits on her piano. They look so incredibly glamorous and beautiful and young and happy and in love. It's such a great photo, and I want to make sure that everyone in the family can have a copy.

I got my grandmother's battered old teapot with the lid that doesn't quite close that had been her mother's. Also some of her hugemungous collection of sheet music a few pieces of which I am FINALLY getting framed. She died in 2004. Thanks, Groupon! (Although it is still crazy expensive. Why so spendy professional framining?!)