Nora, WTF. Six years later she realizes how sentimental she feels about it? Sounds more like, she just saw it on Antiques Roadshow and it's worth $$$ and she's hoping you're a pushover and a sucker. ... I am a suspicious person. Her letter sounds a lot like a smarmy manipulative letter my evil-stepsister wrote me once, which made me decide NOT to give her the thing she wanted, even though if she'd just said, "hey, can I have X?" I would've probably given it to her. She pissed me off, and I despised her anyway. I wasn't there when her father's stuff was divided up, and she was; she could've taken it then. Instead she left it with my mom, and twenty years later it came to me in my mom's estate. I guess evil stepsister was too busy after her dad died trying to take my mother's farm away, to think about her father's things that she might want to keep. The farm was never in her father's name, she had no claim at all, but my mom was a nervous wreck for two years that she was going to lose her family farm to that greedy bitch. And then she had the nerve to show up at mom's funeral, weeping and patting and hugging me. She barely spoke to my sister - she already knew my sister wouldn't give her Jack Shit. I ended up giving the thing in question to Evil Stepsister's Sister, Halfway-Decent Stepsister, thereby dividing moral obligation by emotional satisfaction.

You should totally send the "nasty" letter, and add your thanks in advance for her giving you the hope chest. Hmpf.

Ugh Nora, it's sad how death seems to bring out the greedy. Always a bit disheartening. But I don't see how she has any claim on the punch bowl seeing as your grandmother gave it to you years ago, while she was living. I wouldn't indulge your cousin's claims on it whatsoever. If you want to trade the punch bowl for the hope chest, make an offer. But I would not give her the punch bowl and then expect her to give you the hope chest out of the goodness of her own heart. She doesn't seem to be wired that way.

I think I'd apologize sincerely for breaking the punch bowl and then make sure it was featured prominently in my next holiday photo.

I know it doesn't compare with Nora's situation, but speaking of craxy family - did I mention that my uncle and his wife, who my grandmother pretty much forced us to invite to our wedding, a) didn't turn up and then b) blamed this not just on *us*, but also on my mother, who was helping her partner at his mother's funeral at the time they're referring to...? They're still making a fuss and being super-wankers. But we have been strong and assertive and dealt with their passive-aggressive crap head-on and I am very proud of us for that. In between being pissed at them.

I'd say that definitely compares, Seska- what is the matter with people?? ISTG.

Does hair dye have an expiration date? I'm thinking of going back to dark hair, and I'm wondering if I can use this box of brown dye I found under the sink. It's probably two years old.

Nora - one my snarkier responses would be along the lines of "yeah, i guess gramma really was getting forgetful if she promised you a punch bowl she already gave to me FIVE YEARS AGO."

And yes, everyone should read _Feed._ It's pretty frackin brilliant. I liked it so much that after borrowing it from the library i bought it so i could re-read at my leisure. And i don't do that.

Zenkitty, hair stylist friend says hair dye loses potency. How old is it?

It's at least 85 degrees in my apartment. (That's the highest the thermometer goes, and it's pointing all the way to 85.) The air conditioners won't be put in until tomorrow. I've got windows open, which is kind of pointless because it's just as hot outside, and I've got the ceiling fan on, but it's still near unbearable. I'm just sitting on the couch reading, and there's sweat dripping down my neck.

Laga, it's probably two years old.