It is my experience that backstage at weddings, chaos reigns. However, somehow things always come together to make a beautiful occasion. So take heart, Seska. Know that not only are your physically nearest and dearest behind you, but we are too.

Did I ever mention that my roommate in college got married during winter break of her last year? Two weeks before the wedding, her honey called to wake her up so they could go to church together. So she went to take a bath, and was so worn out that she didn't realize until she was getting out of the bathtub that she still had her nightgown on.

And yes, theirs was a lovely wedding. And I didn't even hate my dress.

Good luck, Seska, and best wishes!

Can the Buffistas send my brother a big hug? Since September, he has not spent the night with my parents because his girlfriend and pets are not welcome, so he always drives home under the pretense of having to take care of the pets, which my dad keeps telling him to "get rid of." Despite this clear stand he is taking and the fact that he has specifically said that if they let his girlfriend stay over, he would spend the night, he has to go through the same argument every single time. Every time he visits, they simply assume he will be spending the night, and he has to tell them that he's not, every time. I seriously cannot imagine how he does it. It must be fucking exhausting.

But in HILARIOUS news, my grandfather has apparently become so impatient that I get married that he told me I should just find a white girl. (But not a black girl. I could find ANYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, but not a black girl. Baby steps, guys.) He pointed to my cousin-uncle who married a white girl and now, look, his sister just got married and they were there at the wedding and everything was fine, WHATEVER.

Maybe I've worn them down. They've certainly worn me down. I wonder what my parents think. (They were not present when he made his declaration, but my other grandfather was.)

But in HILARIOUS news, my grandfather has apparently become so impatient that I get married that he told me I should just find a white girl.

I wondered why pigs were flying outside my window...

And, man, I really feel for your brother. How exhausting.

My dad continually concern-trolls about my brother and me not having partners/ maybe being gay. I told my mom that one day I ought to call him and give him half-credit. She said she'd hurt me if I did.

::hugs for P-cow's brother::

Which, since our company suckily employs the PTO thing instead of separate sick/vacation, every day I use recuperating is a day less vacation.

I really prefer PTO to separate sick/vacation time. I thought everybody preferred it. But I was wrong!

My mother gets 10 "discretionary days" a year...she doesn't use them often so she has like 25, but I think that's a good idea. Less explanation and bullshit.

I really prefer PTO to separate sick/vacation time. I thought everybody preferred it. But I was wrong!

Nope, it encourages people to work when they're sick. I don't charge my employees PTO when I send them home sick for this very reason. But my surgeries have been so high-profile in my company that my boss and I can't get away with not charging me the time off.

(Not only do I not charge PTO for my employees who are truly sick, but I often tell them that if they call in sick in the morning and they feel better in the afternoon (when they're actually using PTO), they should go play golf or see a movie. Since it's PTO, it's theirs to use any way they see fit.)

But I don't have a problem with anyone in my group having excessive unplanned absences, so I have the luxury of this approach.

I really prefer PTO to separate sick/vacation time. I thought everybody preferred it. But I was wrong!

Ugh, no! Taking a sick day means one less vacation day.

See, since I very very rarely take sick days (if I'm traveling I really can't unless I'm in the hospital, and if I"m home, there's no reason to--I can make up the work later in the day/week if I have a headache), I love the PTO. I don't really love that I can't carry over much of it or that it's really hard to arrange and still do my job well, but...

Polter-Cow, your poor brother! Not the having to drive home every night thing, but the having it assumed he won't, and having to tell them every time! What a pain in the ass, knowing that you're going to have to have that fight...yeesh.

See, since I very very rarely take sick days (if I'm traveling I really can't unless I'm in the hospital, and if I"m home, there's no reason to--I can make up the work later in the day/week if I have a headache), I love the PTO.

This is why I always preferred PTO. Also, you don't have to fib about a sick day when you just need a day off. (Some places have policies that discourage taking off vacation as less than a one-week chunk, however, when you're a parent you mostly need to take individual days for a variety of reasons.)