it took me half an hour to eat my oatmeal this morning

Oh, {{{{beth}}}} I'm sorry your throat hurts so much.

Oh, beth, that sucks. At least when you have strep you can assume the antibiotics will work quickly! Here's hoping something does for you!

I do not want Monday. How did the weekend end so quick? I am at a coffeeshop trying to work, but mostly playing words with friends.

I called a meeting with my boss (COO of the company, no less) and then, um, forgot. He had to call me to ask where I was. EPIC FAIL.

I had an alternative treatment a week ago and every night since then, I have slept straight through. No trips to the bathroom. It's MAGIC. No lie.

The acupuncture has helped with my insomnia, too. It hasn't banished it totally, but I used to need to take a whole Ambien (and, uh, a whole Xanax) just to fall asleep, AND I would wake up at 5:30 or 6:00 and not be able to fall back asleep (I don't get up until 7:45 normally).

Now I'm down to 1/2 an Ambien, and when I wake up at 5:30 or 6:00, I fall right back asleep. I am astounded.

Good to hear, Teppy. Great results.

Ooops, Scrappy.

Oh yes, with coloring before bed instead of thinking about goodness knows what, I'm falling right to sleep. Crazy good.

Trudy, thanks for your thoughts about wiring...lj is being strange here today or I'd leave that there.

thanks - I I started on a zpack today but getting food down my throat so I could take it

I like coloring too! I have some books with mandalas, and they're very calming.

Which probably means I should do some coloring right now, because I'm not dealing with the stress well at all. After struggling with dieting for, well, years, today I'm right back at the heaviest weight I've ever been, back when I was dating Mr. Honey-You-Look-Lovely-Have-Some-Chocolate. And of course, I have this business trip this weekend and I can't wear any of my business clothes (surprise!) so now I'm frantically trying to put together some outfits without spending too much on something I'll likely only wear once. And we're going to St. John next month, the only time I've ever been to a tropical place and probably the only time I ever will, and all I can think about is how fat I am and I can't wear a bathing suit (I can't swim anyway so really it's not that much of a problem) and how awful I'll look in those once-in-a-lifetime photos. I just want to cry. I was never fat when I was younger, I didn't start putting on weight until I started taking antidepressants when I was 27. I gained a hundred pounds over about four years, and I can't seem to get back to what I consider normal for me. I don't think of myself as fat, and when I see what I really look like now, I feel like I've ruined myself. Like no matter what I've done in my life (not that much, really) I'm a total failure because I can't get my figure back. I don't feel this way about other fat people; why can't I give myself a break and just accept myself as I am now? Yeah, I feel like a failure for *that*, too. I feel hideous and I don't want anyone to see me. Why the hell can't I just lose the weight? Everyone in my family is a tiny little thing, and then there's me, towering over them, almost as big as all three of them together, feeling like Godzilla. What's wrong with me?

Sorry for the big ol' emo dump; I just need to say something and there's no one to talk to.