I am allowed to be relieved about not having to go on a day that I did not cancel, right?

Yup. Can you make yourself do any of the stuff you would do with the PT, only not so vigorously? Maybe a bit of extra rest is what your body needs, too.

can I get a little nonspecific health~ma for my DH?

Health~ma for your DH, Sox. May the doc diagnose quickly and accurately, and may it be easily treated.

The supervisor of the calculus courses sent out an email really early this morning. Most of it was extremely detailed notes on how to grade the midterms, and which types of wrong answers should get what grades and why. It was all in bullet points and sub-points and stuff. Then the last bullet point was "Eating peeps to stay awake gives you a sugar high that doesn't allow sleep when grading is done," with several sub-points on the virtues of Peeps.

health~ma to your DH, Sox.

WTF is wrong with me? People will kill for some of the things I'm doing right now. But sadly, some of those things I'm doing right now just don't feel this fucking great anymore.

Yep, that's burnout.

Then the last bullet point was "Eating peeps to stay awake gives you a sugar high that doesn't allow sleep when grading is done," with several sub-points on the virtues of Peeps.

Ahahaha.

~ma to you and your DH, Sox.

I am allowed to be relieved about not having to go on a day that I did not cancel, right?

As someone who has wished that would happen, you can totally be relieved!

~ma to you and your DH, Sox.

Shir, be good to yourself! That's half the problem with doing so much for others, both in a personal sense and in the greater world sense-- you tend to put you and yourself down near the bottom of the list of priorities for whatever reason you can come up with, when really, since you're the person making so much of this happen, the care and feeding of you needs to be near the top.

I feel guilty that I'm not going to be at the budget-cut rally at the capitol today...bad crip activist, no biscuit! There are lots of reasons this wouldn't work, and, last year at this time, I'd have totally called it yesterday's tactic, but then Wisconsin happened(Not that we'd ever get those numbers) and so now I feel bad. Like if I were really empowered, I'd have done it. But I've done a lot of other ones, and much as I tried to feel like I was marching on Washington, it's mostly twelve people and their sucky signs. If Jan Brewer is not afraid to go out and be that ugly, I'm sure crips with signs are not going to do it. Crip Power was kind of...my post-collegiate fallback. I did that stuff a lot because I did not want to be home and facing the demons in my own life. People who know me from then always expect a lot.

There is no way to go further, and I will never have the money to buy a house I like, or a car that is less than ten years old, or do any of the traveling I dream of doing. I have not been the same since - I do not have the nerve, the drive, or the energy that I used to have.

Oh, WindSparrow, sadly, you are my twin.

Heed her words, Shir!

more ~ma to all who need today!

Liese, I was wishing you were with me on Friday night to see this band

Ooh! That band sounds amazing. Definitely right down my alley. In fact, that's kinda what I want to do. Oh, and the lead player totally has the vine of life Schecter I was previously lusting after.

Shir, definitely sounds like burnout, and I agree with the others. Sit down, take a breath, develop some coping strategies. Prioritize, learn to say no, do what works for you and don't worry about what people think. We're guarding against burnout all the time; in our field most people quit within a year for that reason. We're on year ten, so our adamant insistence on rest has paid off so far.

{{{{{{quester}}}}}} (sorry, can't remember off-hand if you are a hug person or non-hug person - if hugs are intrusive, feel free to imagine those brackets as an offering of soft fluffy blankets of precisely the right weight for the weather where you are)