Shir, you're just tired. I suspect you're suffering "burnout".

You may also be suffering what I call the Curse of Competence: when one has eagerly proven that one can do many things well all at once, the reward is, more work. This cycle continues until you fall over. Can you talk to the people who assign you the work and tell them you're reaching a point where it's just too much? Or is that not done?

Shir, you're just tired. I suspect you're suffering "burnout".

I agree with Zenkitty. Darling Shir, please for me, do what you have to do to stop this from getting worse, and give yourself the chance to regain your energy and enthusiasm. When I was a university student I pushed myself too hard. And when I started seeing signs of professional burnout before I had even entered the profession of my choice, I kept pushing. I got sick, and I kept pushing. I kept pushing myself until I completely destroyed my health. It prevented me from finishing my degree. I had to drop out of school and quit my job; I moved back into my mother's house, and while this gave me the time to rest up, and recover physically, it lead to disaster in another way. Because I was unable to finish my degree, I am stuck in an entry level position in my field. There is no way to go further, and I will never have the money to buy a house I like, or a car that is less than ten years old, or do any of the traveling I dream of doing. I have not been the same since - I do not have the nerve, the drive, or the energy that I used to have. If I could, I would make a bargain with G-d, to take on your stress and exhaustion so that you do not have to go through what I went through. I'm already ruined - if I could take it on for you, it won't destroy anything that isn't destroyed already. Please, precious one, protect yourself, because for as much as I wish I could do it for you, I cannot; and it will break my heart to think of you suffering as I did.

This [link] gives a summary of some useful strategies in preventing burnout:

People in my experience of 30+ years of avoiding burn-out proactively touch on all the factors noted above: they take care of themselves physically, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually; they work hard but also take dedicated down time away from their work; they enjoy their work rather than have it feel like drudgery; and last they have other interests.

"they take care of themselves physically, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually;" This includes getting a reasonable amount of sleep regularly (not that as a student you can completely avoid the occasional all-night study or writing session, but you will have to take steps to make that happen only rarely); getting some exercise that you enjoy and does not stress your body; taking time to truly relax regularly (whether that is taking a bubble bath, or getting a massage, or meditating, or something else) other than sleep; putting the effort into eating foods that are truly nourishing rather than whatever is quick and easy to get. Taking care of yourself emotionally, well that is such an individual thing that it is likely that you know what you have to do. If you need more suggestions, well we can help you here, but that will be a lengthy discussion that can be started later. Spiritually, that too is so individual, whether directly tied to religion or not; this is another thing that we could discuss with you at a separate time, if it is what you need.

"[They] work hard but also take dedicated down time away from their work". This goes back to taking time to relax that is other than sleep. And in order to do this, you will have to set firm limits on what you can take on. You may have to cultivate the skill of saying no to new projects. You may also have to find ways to cut back on what you have already taken on. I know this is the complete opposite of your nature and personality, but please remember that your long term health and your future success depend on this.

Here is another link that may be useful [link] even though it is specifically for the caregiving professions, I think all the points can apply to almost any situation.

Talked to my sister this evening, some good news. My nephew (the one who had a brain aneurysm at eight months) has been accepted to Malkara School, which is set up to deal with intellectual disabilities. He'll start in a class of about six students, with a teacher and two teacher's aides. There'll also be a speech therapist, a physiotherapist, even a specialist to help with his eyesight - essentiallyit's integrated with his therapy program with the Dept of Disability, Health and Community Services. It's a government school, so they won't be out of pocket for it either.

There'll also be a speech therapist, a physiotherapist, even a specialist to help with his eyesight - essentiallyit's integrated with his therapy program with the Dept of Disability, Health and Community Services. It's a government school, so they won't be out of pocket for it either.

That sounds brilliant! I'm so glad that he has this opportunity for an education that will truly meet his needs.

Wow bt, what an amazing support system that school has. Yay for your sister and her family.

My PT is out sick today. I am allowed to be relieved about not having to go on a day that I did not cancel, right?

can I get a little nonspecific health~ma for my DH? he's going to the doc to have a thing checked out with his foot feeling all odd. Mostly I'm freaked out that he was motivated enough to make an appointment without me hassling him. But I'd also like for him to be very ok.

I am allowed to be relieved about not having to go on a day that I did not cancel, right?

Yup. Can you make yourself do any of the stuff you would do with the PT, only not so vigorously? Maybe a bit of extra rest is what your body needs, too.

can I get a little nonspecific health~ma for my DH?

Health~ma for your DH, Sox. May the doc diagnose quickly and accurately, and may it be easily treated.

The supervisor of the calculus courses sent out an email really early this morning. Most of it was extremely detailed notes on how to grade the midterms, and which types of wrong answers should get what grades and why. It was all in bullet points and sub-points and stuff. Then the last bullet point was "Eating peeps to stay awake gives you a sugar high that doesn't allow sleep when grading is done," with several sub-points on the virtues of Peeps.

health~ma to your DH, Sox.