Yeah. People still think cats 'take a baby's breath.'

You know I'm all about actual knowledge of feline behavior, right? I think there may be a grain of truth behind that, so I frequently advise that cats and babies not have unsupervised contact. The thing is, there is no malice behind a particular behavior that could, possibly, maybe, lead to a small infant not being able to breathe when a cat is close. Cats, being actually considerably more social creatures than their "walks alone" reputation suggests, often sleep with other cats, humans, or even dogs with whom they are friendly, by way of sharing body heat. Being essentially pride rather than pack animals, cats also will raise their litters of kittens cooperatively, so any female or neutered male may choose to try to help out with infants presented by humans in its social group. Neutered males will do so on the grounds that, like a lion, a tom can actually be quite a good daddy, so long as he believes the kittens to be his offspring; a neutered male does not have the hormonal drive to give a rat's behind about whose kittens are whose, and will happily be a daddy to any young he feels is part of his pride (not all neutered males will do this, it's a matter of individual personality).

One of the things about kittens that cats do not have the intellectual capacity to understand do not apply to infants is that young kittens are too small to retain body heat if left alone. So while the momma cat is out of the den, a litter of kittens will sleep in a lovely little heap, keeping each other warm. A single kitten is vulnerable to losing too much body heat if left alone. So one of the things that other adult cats in the pride will do, is snuggle up with a small kitten while momma is out and about. We humans tend to have much smaller litters than cats do. So our young come out of the womb with a body mass much more capable of regulating its own temperature than a kitten would, particularly given our species propensity for using things like nice warm jammies, blankets (which I understand is recommended against, but was done for thousands of years), and/or central heating.

When it is chilly, a cat will curl up into a ball, and bury her nose in her fur to A) keep the nose warm, and 2) warm up the air inhaled as well as recycle warmth of exhaled air. When cats sleep together for warmth, they will bury their noses in the fur of their sleeping partners. Something that I have observed in my cats, is that when one cat is already asleep, when the other cat comes along, s/he will lie down so close to the sleeping cat's nose that it looks rather like s/he is lying on the sleeper's face. Harvey has done this with me as well. There has been a time or two that I was lying on my stomach with my face half buried in my pillow, that he has effectively covered my nose and mouth enough to limit the amount of air I could draw in. Reflexes being what they are, I woke up and repositioned myself for easier breathing.

Young infants do not have the strength, and IIRC may not yet have developed the reflex to wake and seek more air if breathing gets constricted while sleeping. So if a cat who is disposed to help care for the young of its pride sees an infant sleeping on its own, the cat may decide its duty is to snuggle up with the infant, without realizing that an infant needs a greater volume of air than a kitten does. My fear is that once in a great, great while a cat might, with all loving intentions, snuggle up too close to an infant's nose and mouth long enough to suffocate the infant. I'm sure that it is a rare thing, but in the face of this risk, as well as more mundane risks such as the infant inadvertently injuring the cat, or the cat scratching or biting the infant by way of defense, I strongly recommend that all contact between infants or small children and cats be supervised.

Whoa, I didn't realize I had been quite so profligate with my words in that post.

Again, I'm taking the e-mail as a friendly gesture, but really, if that was the message behind it, well, it needed to be fleshed out a bit.

Yeah, it would have sounded quite a bit different if he had followed that statement up with a suggestion to, say spend time together in a smaller, hopefully less stressful setting, such as you and Tim together with him and his partner (if any).

smonster, I have nothing useful to say about B. But I'm on your side, and I'm sending lots of punctuation to you.

billytea, in slightly more than a decade, your son is going to be a heart-breaker. Or maybe not, since his disposition is so sunny - maybe he'll be an adorably handsome young man who joyfully flirts with whomever, causing only enjoyment rather than disappointment. Also, it is my considered opinion that if everyone had the privilege of having such loving grandparents, the world would be a much less ugly place.

Windsparrow - that is an excellent explanation for that behavior. And I know that my cat has been sleeping on me quite alot recently. Particularly since I turned down or off the heaters and it turned cold again. (Plus, she is 18 and likely wanting more heat.)

Also, it is my considered opinion that if everyone had the privilege of having such loving grandparents, the world would be a much less ugly place.

I endorse this opinion. It's really such a delight to see how well he's taken to them again. Especially at bedtime, when he'll go to say goodnight (he waves and blows kisses), and just stands there giggling at them until he's back under control.

billytea, in slightly more than a decade, your son is going to be a heart-breaker. Or maybe not, since his disposition is so sunny - maybe he'll be an adorably handsome young man who joyfully flirts with whomever, causing only enjoyment rather than disappointment.

You know, my fondest wish for him is simply that he'll grow up to be kind. Right now at least, he is very much so.

Honestly, I think I'm better off not having that job. Org is seeming not as solid as I thought.

So I went in to work and turned right around. Too sick, better off resting today, I think.

a friend of mine put forward the opinion that being introverted was a sin. There are a remarkable number of people who really don't get this stuff.

I just... I don't even have words for this. Well, I actually have a lot of words for this, but they're not very nice ones.

Again, I'm taking the e-mail as a friendly gesture, but really, if that was the message behind it, well, it needed to be fleshed out a bit.

Yeah, it would have sounded quite a bit different if he had followed that statement up with a suggestion to, say spend time together in a smaller, hopefully less stressful setting, such as you and Tim together with him and his partner (if any).

A message that was more clear/fleshed out would have been way less annoying and vaguely creepy. Something as simple as, "We seem to keep missing chances to chat at events. How's your anxiety doing?" (Because he damn well knows about my anxiety.)

You know, my fondest wish for him is simply that he'll grow up to be kind. Right now at least, he is very much so.

It's one of the only valued qualities humans have complete control over. Looks, brains, and wealth are so largely dependent on circumstances beyond one's control.

I always took the "cats taking a baby's breath" as a misunderstanding of SIDS.

a friend of mine put forward the opinion that being introverted was a sin. There are a remarkable number of people who really don't get this stuff.

Was s/he a biblical literalist? If so, I would like a cite. I don't know the thing cover to cover, but I'm pretty sure they're riffin' like Jazz with that one.

Tim suggested that our friend is also somewhat socially awkward himself (kinksters? are really just another brand of geek, and therefore often socially awkward), and maybe *he* was saying that he doesn't think *he* interacts well.

Tim may have a point, it could be read either way.

Also, it is my considered opinion that if everyone had the privilege of having such loving grandparents, the world would be a much less ugly place.

Amen.

(Because he damn well knows about my anxiety.)

I have a client with an ex who is making her miserable. Every time it comes up, all I can ask is, "And you expected him to be different?" Not in a snarky way, but in the practical, boy I wish people could be the way I want them to be too. This one? Unlikely.

I'm vacating my office for two hours today so a fellow entrepreneur (who is ubercool) can see a client. I feel all generous and stuff, at the same time I feel totally disorganized.

Going to a coffee shop to write or read requires having stuff together. Which I do not. Ack. How is it that wasting time watching Australian reality shows stings less as a time waster than going out of the house unprepared to accomplish anything?

t no logic--hard to close