The average 4 year old is too young for a superego - disappointment is not a big disciplinary tool for most.

I think this is a parental authority/boundary problem. I am by no means a Parents Are Authoritative Gods sort of person, but small children need rules and structure and DO NOT need to be given control of too much at age 4. Even 3-4 choices can be overwhelming to small children.

Thank you for the developmental confirmation, flea. I thought this was the case, but seeing so MANY parents negotiating made me wonder if I was off base.

Now, the challenge is creating behaviors that the parents can/will do to turn the boat around. And the MAD coping skills they will need to navigate the backlash.

Just teach the parents that they need to be the Alpha dogs. It's actually not that different!

Yep. There are lots and lots of similarities.

Grabbing your kid by the scruff of the neck and shaking it is frowned upon, however. Smacking its nose with a paw is also ill-advised.

Though I'd love to see the look on some of the hooligans at the grocery store if I tried . . .

Hey, guess what has four thumbs and a wedding anniversary? This couple! (One of the anniversaries, anyway. We have more of a wedding week than a wedding day. This day's the culmination, though.) We had anniversary cake for breakfast. On Saturday we're doing dinner and a movie (The King's Speech). This'll be the first movie we've seen in a cinema since, IIRC, Harry Potter. HP6, to be precise. And why can we indulge in such extravagance? Because her parents will be looking after Ryan, is why. Dinner will be at a tapas bar. The last time we went out to dinner on our own was also over a year ago, I think.

I spent yesterday working from home. Soundtrack to my productivity included Danger Days ("Planetary (GO!)" is perhaps not the most conducive music for productivity, as I still feel the need to stop whatever I'm doing and bounce around to it when it cranks up), Mika, and Dave Graney and the Coral Snakes. (For those unfamiliar with the latter, here's one of their more mellow efforts, "Night Of The Wolverine": [link] ).

Just as well, because Wallybee's work made her stay back late, and I was able to pick up the little boy. (He still does childcare once a week, for numerous reasons: to allow me to work from home, to give her parents a break, to help our only child get some practice in socialising with others his own age.) This is the perfect way to end a workday.

In the evening, I introduced Wallybee to Mad About You. (Borrowed it from the library, along with The Dish and Father Ted.) As 90s sitcoms go, I like this one, as it features a couple that actually behaves like adults a lot of the time, instead of the guy being an irresponsible child and the woman his warden. Get this: episode two, they catch up with an old crush of Paul's, he makes a fool of himself. Said crush: Lisa Cuddy! I did not recognise her, at all, until she started talking.

Anyway, the point is that it's our anniversary week, and it's been going very well. So that's nice.

Yeah, sometimes either Paul or Jamie gets weird about something, but mostly it's not childish. Lisa Edelstein worked a lot, as a sort of "Hey, it's that gal," kind of actress.

I just received an e-mail from the friend whose kid I watch on Friday, which I'm finding to be passive aggressive, and I'm trying to figure out a nice way to respond.

Kristin I forgot to say congrats on your position I know you are going to be awesome as the department chair.

So, tentatively I have the apartment. Barring the potential landlady thinking my credit score is really really horrible and she can't rent to me. Which I hope doesn't happen because now I have to give notice at work. Which I guess I'm going to do on Friday and give 2 weeks notice.

And this is going to come as a surprise (maybe) I mean I haven't talked about moving Right Now but they know I'm in a long distance relationship. It's kinda a crappy time to give notice at work but I need to do this.

Would you like some help sj?

happy birthday Raq.

Not that I know a lot about 4 yr olds, but I do know lots of adults that would find 3 or 4 choices overwhelming

if you can share details , sj, we might be able to hep. And I am so glad you PT is helping, that is great news.

so far I have , mailed the tax stuff, gone grocery and pet food shopping, got soap from my neighborhood soapmaker, 75 min on the elptical trainer, cleaned the bathroom and shower.