Sending coping ~ma to Laura. I'm glad you are able to be there for your mother, sorry that it has to be so hard.

Also sending job-landing ~ma to Erin. I hope That Place snaps you up.

In terms of unemployment, if you don't know if you qualify, call the unemployment office to make an appointment to talk to someone. People in unemployment offices vary like any other workplace and are usually under a great deal of stress and overworked, but a lot of them will go out of their way to help you with eligibility questions. They know the system is tough to navigate, and many of them will try to help you find your way through it.

I'm very tired. We drove to London and back to have a three-hour meeting with lawyers yesterday. Now I'm going to do a twelve-hour day at uni, followed by two days in Leeds (there's a great speaker giving a talk at the Centre for Disability Studies, where I did my MA), followed by another long day at uni, followed by a protest march in London on Saturday. Oh, and then wedding dress shopping with a friend on Sunday - but that will be fun, if also tiring. Then I might get some sleep.

The Girl pointed out to me yesterday, when I was ranting about the power of the beauty myth (I'm doing a lecture on women and popular culture next week) that I dye my hair. "But I'm only 32 and I'm going grey," I protested. "Quite," she said.

But I do love being a redhead. And that involves chemicals. I'm waiting to re-dye it until just before my wedding, this time, or it will get expensive.

Erin, wishing you the snarky writing gig, and whatever kind of work you want next.

Thoughts for your mom, Laura.

It is like they don't feel they should challenge authority.

That drove me crazy when my parents were ill. They were both smart, assertive people. And mom had ranted for years about the doctor who kept telling my pack-a-day grandma that the cough was just bronchitis until cancer had claimed one and a half of her lungs, so it's not like they thought doctors were infallible. But, second opinions? No, that would be rude. Asking them (or the pharmacists) about drug interactions? No, no, the doctor knows what (s)he's doing. So I found myself fighting both the doctors and my parents to try and get them the care they needed. And I felt like I failed a lot, too.

 *le sigh*

Anyway, hair. After years of experimentation, it looks like a chin length bob is the best cut for my hair. I'm starting to get a few white hairs, and they seem to blend pretty well into my light brown hair at the moment. If I ever go all-white I'd really like to try dying my hair anime character colors. It'll probably depend on the job I have at the time, though.

Calli is me when it comes to hair. I still enjoy going red from time to time, but need to remember to use the more temporary methods because I don't have the ambition to keep it up. I would really enjoy a shocking bright streak, but the natural mixed colors don't really work with that. Right now I am mousy brown, sun streak blond, and grey.

Nonian, sounds like a fun change. We need pictures!

the doctor knows what (s)he's doing

With all the information perhaps, but they don't necessarily have it. Doc ordered a CT and her chart clearly says she is allergic to Iodine. I mentioned it and the test was canceled, then the Doc re-ordered without contrast the next day. I'd like to think the Radiologist would have double checked with her before giving her the Iodine, but I am sure it happens.

The overwhelming majority of doctors I encounter encourage patient active involvement in their care. They do want to heal, that is why they study so hard and work the crazy hours. They understand that the patient knows their own body. (exceptions exist of course, but most really want to help)

I did a lot of advocating with doctors for the guys in the group home in Arizona that I worked at, when I would take them to doctors' appointments. A lot of the doctors would assume that I had a lot more medical training than I do. But most of them respected the fact that I had worked with these guys on a long term basis. One asked, "Are you a family member?" to which I answered that no, I just worked at the group home; "How long have you worked there?" Three years at that point; "That makes you family, in my book." Specialists, no problem; PCPs, wonderful; ER docs - totally ignored my opinions. For as much as they were quite willing to take my observations and ideas seriously, one thing I did learn during that time is that doctors do not know every medication, every side effect, and they don't have the time to read the PDR every time they prescribe something. I did. So now and then I would point out a side effect that someone was experiencing from a new med, and get "That med doesn't do that." To which I would say, "Check your PDR. It's under 'Rare and Unusual'. No other med changes at that time; and he went to both his PCP and a ___ specialist about the this symptom, nothing they have done has alleviated it. He started that med on that date; since that date we have had x number of incident reports recording the adverse effects. This is effecting the quality of his life, and his overall health." At which point they would discontinue whatever it was. Thank heavens.

Where I work now, the company has a couple of LPNs who will come and take a look at the folks when there is a problem, and they coordinate the medical appointments. In one way this is good, because a person with more education/knowledge than I have is more immediately available. In another way, it's not so good, because it puts a couple of layers between my observations and opinions and the doctors' ears; not only does it have to pass through to the doctors at second hand, but they also pass through the filter of the nurses' interpretations of my observations, and then also whatever interpretations the doctors make of what the nurses communicate to them.

I've lost a lot of respect for doctors because so many of them are just plain dumb about disability things. Seriously, asking a thirtysomething woman whether CP "usually affects children" is incredibly stupid, unless I'm claiming I woke up with it, as if it were a stiff neck. child +time=me, Dr. Sparky, mkay? Except I used to think that white coat made you smart.

I'm amazing how many medical people think Hubby is a retired radiologist or something, but then he sometimes reads the scans and X-rays better than they do. Once he was in an X-Ray suite waiting for a process, and a couple of people were discussing another x-ray. Hubby, being nosy, moved his head and said "That spine looks like mine." Instead of properly telling him to mind his own business, the tech said, "The surgeon said it didn't look good, but I'm not seeing it." Hubby pointed out the bad sections, and they all chatted about radiology for a while.

I get kinda freaked out when the doctors ask me for how much drugs to give me. It's in my files! And for the life of me I can't remember if it's 10 of compazine and 30 of toradol, or the other way around. On the other hand, I'm upping myself to 50 of benadryl, so maybe they shouldn't ask. And, seriously, if someone walks in off the street and says she wants two doses of 4mg of dilaudid, should you listen? I've been told not.

Then again, nurses, I do like it when you ask what order to give the meds in, and I do wish I got more input into how you administer them. It's just weird where they imply I am affecting things and where it's a purely professional call.

{{{Laura}}} Continued-health~ma for your mom.

My favorite doctor thing, "So you're paralyzed below the knee, can you wiggle your toes?"